The past week has been hectic; hence my lack of new posts over the past few days. I have been in my new home city, Houston, looking at apartments and getting things ready for my job that I will be starting on Monday. Luckily, you don't care about this, so I don't have any real reason to write any more about it. We'll just say I took care of business and had WAY too much fun at my send off last night/this morning in Austin. (KEG + small gathering = calling strip clubs at 2 am... hell yes, writing about this fact has solved the mystery of the outgoing number dialed from my phone at 1:26 am. I've been pondering/slightly worrying all day.)
For the reasons described above, I haven't been able to concentrate too much on poker. I'm currently in a .25/.50 cash game and breaking even on the day. Last night, before the heavy drinking began, Texas Kang and I played some .01/.02 tables and attempted to keep our % of flops seen at 69%. It was grand* fun, but we ended up going broke.
I don't really feel like getting into detailed poker analysis right now, so I'll simply share with you the most important thing that happened to me today...
Do you know Woody Paige from Around the Horn on ESPN? If you don't, I can describe him for you: crazy old man. If you don't know, Around the Horn is a daily show on ESPN that comes on in the afternoon and watched only by those who have no jobs/lives. I record it. I "TiVO" it, if you will. Anyway, the show consists of 4 sports writers from around the country who discuss the hottest sports topics of the day. There's also a host who arbitrarily awards points to the panelists as they speak on said topics. He's a DB (DB is a technical term I use to describe people I don't much care for. It's an abbreviation for something. Hint: it rhymes with looshbag). Anyway, Woody Paige is a regular panelist on the show (representing Denver), and he could be described as the class clown of the group. He's pretty much BSC (rhymes with bat kit crazy).
One of the topics that the panelists and the DB discussed today was the fact that Mike Tyson wants to create a movie about his "life" and all of his trials and tribulations. The panelists seemed to agree that it would be a waste of time, especially due to the high quality of boxing movies that have been made in the past (e.g. Raging Bull, Rocky IV, etc**). They all agreed, that is, except Woody. He went into detail about the life of Tyson. He described how he was raised in a rough neighborhood and was discovered by a trainer who led him to glory, only for him to become a national embarrassment. He then said, there's already a title for it. DB fell into his trap saying, "Oh yeah, what's that?"
Woody replied (yelling as usual), "RAGING BULLSHIT!" (they had to beep it on ESPN)
Eff you, I thought it was funny.
*Grand - just a hilarious word to use.
**etc:
Have you ever seen those clever stores who specialize in selling something, but they also sell other things and want to let you know by adding "etc" to their witty title. No? Think of a bookstore that also sells stationary supplies, such as staplers. The owners may be inclined to
call their store something like, "Books 'N Things" or "Books, ETC". See, you know what I'm talking about. Anyway, the other day Frosty and I went go eat all-you-can-eat fish at BLVD Grille (which is total BS because they run out of fish and get mad when you ask for your 11th helping. They actual keep tabs on how many helpings you had and put it on the receipt with $0.00 next to it. OOOOOH, look how fat I got for free. Besides, the ugly waitress is so damn pushy and wants you to buy more beer.) On our way out, I saw a storefront that read "Tan, ETC". I looked in the window and saw no other service/items for purchase besides a tan. I was confused. No, I was curious. Just what was so "et cetera" about this place, which I'm pretty sure is Latin for something like "and then some" or "along with additional things". Did they have mysterious items in the back somewhere, available for purchase. Maybe they sold drugs. With that possibility in hand, I figured it was only right for me as a U.S. American (see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww) to inquire.
"Should I ask them what the et cetera is," I asked Frosty.
He probably said yes or just looked at me weird.
I noticed a woman, most likely an employee***, was cleaning the door of Tan, ETC as I approached. So, I barged in, and the conversation went as follows...
"Oh, wow, Ok. That's fine," the woman said as I barged in as she was clearly in the middle of cleaning the door. I wasn't trying to be an ass, honestly. If they want business, they should be completely prepared for potential customers.
"Yes, I was wondering if I could get something besides a tan."
The woman looked at me puzzled.
"I need something besides a tan, what do you offer?"
At this point, I think she may have felt I was propositioning her. Which I wasn't.
"We don't offer anything... do you need to make an appointment."
"For tanning, no. I need something additional. Something extra."
Puzzled look.
"I need something in addition to a tan. The title of your shop has led me to believe you have something besides tanning beds here."
"No, we just have tanning beds (at this point I yell, 'ET CETERA, TAN ET CETERA')... oh, I see. You're being sarcastic."
She starts to close the door on me.
"Sorry, I saw the et cetera and got confused. My bad."
Hate is a strong word. I don't hate anyone. That woman HATED me. Frosty probably felt similar.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
Dumb Call II: It's OK when I Do It
The names have been changed, but here is a play that recently occurred in which I felt my chances of winning the tournament increased enough when winning this hand to justify the losses incurred. I figured I was about 28% (~2.5:1) to win the hand when I made the call. With the 400 I had already limped with, it gave me decent straight odds. There are a few key differences here between my call and the one described in the previous post that push me to make this tough call:
1) There are three players in the pot (one significantly small stacked);
2) The small stacked player, Larry, has significant pressure to move all in with a hand worse than mine, so there are increased chances I'm actually favored;
3) The somewhat larger stacked player has an M of 6. He, too, is far more compelled to make a move, so again there are increased chances I'm actually favored;
4) It only costs me less than a third of my stack to make a big move in the tourney;
5) I can still play "normal" poker if I lose. I'm not completely crippled afterward. In the other example, Steel made a play for his tournament life.
PokerStars Tournament, Hold'em No Limit - Level VIII (200/400) - 2008/02/18 - 02:03:28 (ET)
Table 9-max Seat #4 is the button
Seat 1: Larry (1780 in chips)
Seat 2: 845(5170 in chips)
Seat 3: Steel (10140 in chips)
Seat 4: JMAR (4234 in chips)
Seat 5: dark (8066 in chips)
Seat 6: heiff (21154 in chips)
Seat 7: ME (14845 in chips)
Seat 8: High (3300 in chips)
Seat 9: furry (4975 in chips)
Larry: posts the ante 25
845: posts the ante 25
Steel: posts the ante 25
JMAR: posts the ante 25
dark: posts the ante 25
heiff: posts the ante 25
ME: posts the ante 25
High: posts the ante 25
furry: posts the ante 25
dark: posts small blind 200
heiff: posts big blind 400
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to [Qc Kc]
ME: calls 400
High: folds
furry: folds
Larry: raises 1355 to 1755 and is all-in
845: folds
Steel: folds
JMAR: raises 2454 to 4209 and is all-in
darknes87: folds
heiffinator: folds
ME: calls 3809
*** FLOP *** [As Th Qs]
*** TURN *** [As Th Qs] [4d]
*** RIVER *** [As Th Qs 4d] [9s]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
ME: shows [Qc Kc] (a pair of Queens)
JMAR: shows [Ac Js] (a pair of Aces)
JMAR collected 4908 from side pot
Larry: shows [Ks Jd] (a straight, Ten to Ace)
Larry collected 6090 from main pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 10998 Main pot 6090. Side pot 4908. | Rake 0
Board [As Th Qs 4d 9s]
Seat 1: Larry showed [Ks Jd] and won (6090) with a straight, Ten to Ace
Seat 2: 845 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: Steel folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: JMAR (button) showed [Ac Js] and won (4908) with a pair of Aces
Seat 5: darknes87 (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 6: heiffinator (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 7: ME showed [Qc Kc] and lost with a pair of Queens
Seat 8: High folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 9: furry folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Now, let's see if my play was correct (Assuming my original limp in was correct (which it was)).
I had to call 1355 to win a possible 6090 against 2 players. With KQs against AJo and KJo, I am 34.59%** to win (or 2 to 1). 6090/1355= 4.5. I had awesome odds and made a good call for the main pot. However, I also have to consider the side pot with JMAR. Against AJo, I'm 42.56% to win. My play was technically calling 2454 extra to win the 4908 side pot. My expected earning from this play is:
.3459*6090 = 2107
PLUS
.4256*4908 = 2089
for a total expected earning of 4196.
My bet was for a total of 3809 (2454+1355 or JMAR's stack minus my original 400, so it makes sense). Therefore, my play was profitable (4196 gain beats a 3809 expected loss) and thus technically correct. Who knew? (I didn't)
Note: Notice how the original limp-in changes everything. If you add the 400 that was dead money as far as this analysis was concerned, my bet was for a total of 4209. The loss would then outweigh the gain. So, the technically "correct" play would have been to fold immediately had I known what cards my opponents were holding. In addition, if anticipating a call from both opponents, an immediate all-in move would have been technically incorrect.
**All winning percentages obtained from CardPlayer.com's Poker Odds Calculator: http://www.cardplayer.com/poker_odds/texas_holdem
PS: I just realized that you may be wondering why I chose 28% when I was sitting there during the hand. Basically, all I did was take 33% and shave a little bit off since I assumed I wasn't the favorite here. It's actually the low end guess for a situation such as this, and if I would have used it instead of the actual winning percentage for the main pot, then I would still have decent odds to make the call. With the knowledge that I'm generally a pessimist about these types of situations, I would then realize that 28% is probably a lowball guess and can justify making that call. Looking back, I'm satisfied with my estimations during the hand and feel I made the right call.
Side note:
My original assumption for what was taking place went something like this...
When I first saw the all-in move by the very short stack, I assumed A-x, so we'll call it A5s (give him that extra flush chance for 2%). Short stacks like this need to make a play and they tend to especially put the pressure on themselves just before the big blind. Typically, any good hand such as QT, KJ or AX will work for them and could justify the all-in move as the correct play (honestly, at that point for Larry, any two cards could have worked). I feel assuming AX is the best way to hedge the bet. When another less-short-stacked player made the re-raise for the rest of his chips, I figured one of two things was occurring:
1) He doesn't want me to call, so he must have a medium pair or AQ or something;
2) He has a good hand and wants double up (almost triple). Here, I will assume JJ, QQ, KK, AA or AK.
A good way to hedge your bet in this situation is to go ahead and assume a hand like 99. If you judged the situation correctly, the winning percentages go something like this and still lead to the correct play:
A5s: 29.54%
99: 37.45%
KQs (me): 32.56%
(if Larry has some random hand in this situation, such as JTs, you actually become the favorite)
1) There are three players in the pot (one significantly small stacked);
2) The small stacked player, Larry, has significant pressure to move all in with a hand worse than mine, so there are increased chances I'm actually favored;
3) The somewhat larger stacked player has an M of 6. He, too, is far more compelled to make a move, so again there are increased chances I'm actually favored;
4) It only costs me less than a third of my stack to make a big move in the tourney;
5) I can still play "normal" poker if I lose. I'm not completely crippled afterward. In the other example, Steel made a play for his tournament life.
PokerStars Tournament, Hold'em No Limit - Level VIII (200/400) - 2008/02/18 - 02:03:28 (ET)
Table 9-max Seat #4 is the button
Seat 1: Larry (1780 in chips)
Seat 2: 845(5170 in chips)
Seat 3: Steel (10140 in chips)
Seat 4: JMAR (4234 in chips)
Seat 5: dark (8066 in chips)
Seat 6: heiff (21154 in chips)
Seat 7: ME (14845 in chips)
Seat 8: High (3300 in chips)
Seat 9: furry (4975 in chips)
Larry: posts the ante 25
845: posts the ante 25
Steel: posts the ante 25
JMAR: posts the ante 25
dark: posts the ante 25
heiff: posts the ante 25
ME: posts the ante 25
High: posts the ante 25
furry: posts the ante 25
dark: posts small blind 200
heiff: posts big blind 400
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to [Qc Kc]
ME: calls 400
High: folds
furry: folds
Larry: raises 1355 to 1755 and is all-in
845: folds
Steel: folds
JMAR: raises 2454 to 4209 and is all-in
darknes87: folds
heiffinator: folds
ME: calls 3809
*** FLOP *** [As Th Qs]
*** TURN *** [As Th Qs] [4d]
*** RIVER *** [As Th Qs 4d] [9s]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
ME: shows [Qc Kc] (a pair of Queens)
JMAR: shows [Ac Js] (a pair of Aces)
JMAR collected 4908 from side pot
Larry: shows [Ks Jd] (a straight, Ten to Ace)
Larry collected 6090 from main pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 10998 Main pot 6090. Side pot 4908. | Rake 0
Board [As Th Qs 4d 9s]
Seat 1: Larry showed [Ks Jd] and won (6090) with a straight, Ten to Ace
Seat 2: 845 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: Steel folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: JMAR (button) showed [Ac Js] and won (4908) with a pair of Aces
Seat 5: darknes87 (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 6: heiffinator (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 7: ME showed [Qc Kc] and lost with a pair of Queens
Seat 8: High folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 9: furry folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Now, let's see if my play was correct (Assuming my original limp in was correct (which it was)).
I had to call 1355 to win a possible 6090 against 2 players. With KQs against AJo and KJo, I am 34.59%** to win (or 2 to 1). 6090/1355= 4.5. I had awesome odds and made a good call for the main pot. However, I also have to consider the side pot with JMAR. Against AJo, I'm 42.56% to win. My play was technically calling 2454 extra to win the 4908 side pot. My expected earning from this play is:
.3459*6090 = 2107
PLUS
.4256*4908 = 2089
for a total expected earning of 4196.
My bet was for a total of 3809 (2454+1355 or JMAR's stack minus my original 400, so it makes sense). Therefore, my play was profitable (4196 gain beats a 3809 expected loss) and thus technically correct. Who knew? (I didn't)
Note: Notice how the original limp-in changes everything. If you add the 400 that was dead money as far as this analysis was concerned, my bet was for a total of 4209. The loss would then outweigh the gain. So, the technically "correct" play would have been to fold immediately had I known what cards my opponents were holding. In addition, if anticipating a call from both opponents, an immediate all-in move would have been technically incorrect.
**All winning percentages obtained from CardPlayer.com's Poker Odds Calculator: http://www.cardplayer.com/poker_odds/texas_holdem
PS: I just realized that you may be wondering why I chose 28% when I was sitting there during the hand. Basically, all I did was take 33% and shave a little bit off since I assumed I wasn't the favorite here. It's actually the low end guess for a situation such as this, and if I would have used it instead of the actual winning percentage for the main pot, then I would still have decent odds to make the call. With the knowledge that I'm generally a pessimist about these types of situations, I would then realize that 28% is probably a lowball guess and can justify making that call. Looking back, I'm satisfied with my estimations during the hand and feel I made the right call.
Side note:
My original assumption for what was taking place went something like this...
When I first saw the all-in move by the very short stack, I assumed A-x, so we'll call it A5s (give him that extra flush chance for 2%). Short stacks like this need to make a play and they tend to especially put the pressure on themselves just before the big blind. Typically, any good hand such as QT, KJ or AX will work for them and could justify the all-in move as the correct play (honestly, at that point for Larry, any two cards could have worked). I feel assuming AX is the best way to hedge the bet. When another less-short-stacked player made the re-raise for the rest of his chips, I figured one of two things was occurring:
1) He doesn't want me to call, so he must have a medium pair or AQ or something;
2) He has a good hand and wants double up (almost triple). Here, I will assume JJ, QQ, KK, AA or AK.
A good way to hedge your bet in this situation is to go ahead and assume a hand like 99. If you judged the situation correctly, the winning percentages go something like this and still lead to the correct play:
A5s: 29.54%
99: 37.45%
KQs (me): 32.56%
(if Larry has some random hand in this situation, such as JTs, you actually become the favorite)
Back to Poker: The Dumb Call
I want to apologize on behalf of no one for digressing for three posts. It's back to poker now. I'm at a point now where I feel you understand how I play the game and I will fill you in as to how I got where I'm at as we go along. Therefore, I'm just going to go ahead and tell my poker tales as they occur in real time.
If it seems like I'm being short or less grammatically correct than usual, it's because I'm currently in the 5-minute break for a 2000-player tournament. It's also because I took a bad beat just before the break. I'm glad it happened though. It will give me a good place to start. Here's the hand.
Situation: Middle of a large multi-table online tournament. I built my chip stack to 4700 with a couple of all-in calls and patiently awaiting my good hands. I played the good hands aggressively and took down some nice pots. 50/100 blind level.
Steel (4th position: AJo, 2000 left): Raises to 300.
Len (small blind 98s, 1900 left): Calls
Me (big blind: TT, 4700 left): I get the pocket 10's and say f*** it and go all in. It's a borderline play but I was assuming Len had two high cards or a lower pair and would fold. I assumed Steel had a nice hand but was hoping for 2 high cards. Honestly, I wanted a call from one and only one of them.
Steel: Takes a while and then calls. I'm assuming he had the standard moron logic of, "oooh these cards are big, call."
Len: Takes a while and then calls. This is just crazy and I really have no clue what he was thinking besides how much fun it is to gamble and get lucky. Or he was tired of playing. Suited connectors are not something you call an all-in with. You're behind and cannot maneuver on the flop, turn and river because there is no maneuvering. The hand is over. The cards are going to come out. So forget this guy and be glad guys like this like to play small stakes online poker. This is where you make your money. This is why you said eff it and went all in with the ten's, hoping a guy like this would call.
Needless to say, a jack came out on the flop and I lost the hand. Len's play was very foolish and I can't explain what he was doing. Steel's play, however, is the one that truly bothers me. It's plays like these that have bothered me since I began to understand the game. He raised preflop in middle position with AJo. I don't know if he wanted some calls or not, or if he would like to take down the pot preflop, and he probably didn't care either way. He raised with good cards, and that was it. But what he really and truly should not have wanted to see was a re-raise all in from a solid, tight player with more chips than him that had no real reason to cripple his stack with a mediocre hand. Well, he probably didn't like the all-in, but he called it anyway because he wasn't thinking. The question I always ask people like this is, "exactly what hand did you expect to see?" There responses vary but generally come to one conclusion: I have no freaking clue. I'm going to make a short list of hands that a person should think of when seeing an all-in from a tight player in the big blind who has a comfortable chip stack, in order of how likely a person such as myself is to make a play all-in the way I did:
1) JJ
2) TT
3) QQ
4) 99
5) 88
6) AA
7) KK
8) 77
9) Any pair
10) AQ
11) AK
12) AJ
13) AT
14) Any two cards (complete bluff is occurring)
And guess what? All of the above hands/scenarios, except 2, are ahead of ace-jack. And those two, along with the one that ties (#12), are the least likely of the list. So, somehow, Steel's amazing intuition told him that I had pocket 10's or lower but that it's not a problem because a jack is going to come on the flop and double him up. You have to hand it to him. He kicked my ass.
(This post was not technical or scientific at all. I don't really need to get into pot odds or percentages here to make my point. If I was him, I'd probably make that call with only AA, KK, QQ, AK. Of course, it depends on the situation. And as far as the argument that Steel may have been under pressure to make a play, it's actually not going to work here. His M (strong force, see Harrington on Hold 'em) was 13.3 which means he could see 13 more rounds of cards. That's not exactly high pressure. He can justify AQ with that kind of M. At this point, through all this ranting and raving, I've actually built my stack up to 14000. I'm 45th out of 341. I'll let you know if I win.)
If it seems like I'm being short or less grammatically correct than usual, it's because I'm currently in the 5-minute break for a 2000-player tournament. It's also because I took a bad beat just before the break. I'm glad it happened though. It will give me a good place to start. Here's the hand.
Situation: Middle of a large multi-table online tournament. I built my chip stack to 4700 with a couple of all-in calls and patiently awaiting my good hands. I played the good hands aggressively and took down some nice pots. 50/100 blind level.
Steel (4th position: AJo, 2000 left): Raises to 300.
Len (small blind 98s, 1900 left): Calls
Me (big blind: TT, 4700 left): I get the pocket 10's and say f*** it and go all in. It's a borderline play but I was assuming Len had two high cards or a lower pair and would fold. I assumed Steel had a nice hand but was hoping for 2 high cards. Honestly, I wanted a call from one and only one of them.
Steel: Takes a while and then calls. I'm assuming he had the standard moron logic of, "oooh these cards are big, call."
Len: Takes a while and then calls. This is just crazy and I really have no clue what he was thinking besides how much fun it is to gamble and get lucky. Or he was tired of playing. Suited connectors are not something you call an all-in with. You're behind and cannot maneuver on the flop, turn and river because there is no maneuvering. The hand is over. The cards are going to come out. So forget this guy and be glad guys like this like to play small stakes online poker. This is where you make your money. This is why you said eff it and went all in with the ten's, hoping a guy like this would call.
Needless to say, a jack came out on the flop and I lost the hand. Len's play was very foolish and I can't explain what he was doing. Steel's play, however, is the one that truly bothers me. It's plays like these that have bothered me since I began to understand the game. He raised preflop in middle position with AJo. I don't know if he wanted some calls or not, or if he would like to take down the pot preflop, and he probably didn't care either way. He raised with good cards, and that was it. But what he really and truly should not have wanted to see was a re-raise all in from a solid, tight player with more chips than him that had no real reason to cripple his stack with a mediocre hand. Well, he probably didn't like the all-in, but he called it anyway because he wasn't thinking. The question I always ask people like this is, "exactly what hand did you expect to see?" There responses vary but generally come to one conclusion: I have no freaking clue. I'm going to make a short list of hands that a person should think of when seeing an all-in from a tight player in the big blind who has a comfortable chip stack, in order of how likely a person such as myself is to make a play all-in the way I did:
1) JJ
2) TT
3) QQ
4) 99
5) 88
6) AA
7) KK
8) 77
9) Any pair
10) AQ
11) AK
12) AJ
13) AT
14) Any two cards (complete bluff is occurring)
And guess what? All of the above hands/scenarios, except 2, are ahead of ace-jack. And those two, along with the one that ties (#12), are the least likely of the list. So, somehow, Steel's amazing intuition told him that I had pocket 10's or lower but that it's not a problem because a jack is going to come on the flop and double him up. You have to hand it to him. He kicked my ass.
(This post was not technical or scientific at all. I don't really need to get into pot odds or percentages here to make my point. If I was him, I'd probably make that call with only AA, KK, QQ, AK. Of course, it depends on the situation. And as far as the argument that Steel may have been under pressure to make a play, it's actually not going to work here. His M (strong force, see Harrington on Hold 'em) was 13.3 which means he could see 13 more rounds of cards. That's not exactly high pressure. He can justify AQ with that kind of M. At this point, through all this ranting and raving, I've actually built my stack up to 14000. I'm 45th out of 341. I'll let you know if I win.)
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Please answer the following questions
1. Are you male and have a pony tail?
2. Are you male and sport an earring?
3. Would you agree with the position that Denzell Washington's character from John Q. was an alright, if not great, guy?
4. Are you either a male or a female rated below a "7" with more than one "star" tattoo? (answering "yes" to this question is admitting that you suck, and that includes MJ from the Real World Philadelphia and most of the trolls who hang out at Campus Estates' pool)
5. Is your name Tom Cruise?
6. Are you my mom?
7. Do you genuinely enjoy peeling out in your car because it's awesome, not because it's hilarious?
8. Do you commonly add 69 or 420 to the end of your basic online user id's to make them more awesome, not to make them more hilarious?
9. Are you somewhat unsure what the difference between "there" and "their" is?
10. Do you hate me?
11. Do you strongly dislike me?
12. Were/are you one of the original Kings of Comedy?
13. Are you my employer?
14. Could you describe yourself as a "stank-ass (sic?) hoe"?
15. Do you typically only work-out your biceps when you go to the gym (hint: you probably already answered "yes" to some combination of 1, 2, 4 and 9)?
16. Are you that guy who used to talk really loud in my Thermodynamics class? It was also really annoying when you honked when he blew your nose during lectures.
17. Did you play Coach Orion in D3: The Mighty Ducks?
18. Do you have star tattoos?
19. Do you have star tattoos?
20. Are you a major league baseball player, past or present, who has hit 756 home runs or more in your career?
21. Are you a major league baseball player, past or present, who has played for Boston, Toronto, New York (AL), Houston, and New York (AL) again, in that order?
22. Have you ever lied to congressmen while at a hearing set up by your own lawyers?
23. Did you think Tim McGraw did more than a decent job with his role in "Friday Night Lights"?
24. Have you ever handed out flyers on the West Mall of UT's campus?
25. Did you record the hit (?) country single "21-17"?
26. Did you allow, encourage or force your child to grow out his/her rat tail after January 1, 1994?
27. Do you see no problem with the position that obtaining a cold from someone is grounds for "socking [them] in the eye"?
28. Have you ever made a "guest appearance" on the show Cops?
29. Do you wear extra-large Betty Boop, Goofey, Tweety or any Looney Toons- or Tiny Toons-themed silk-screened t-shirts?
30. Could you describe your voice as both raspy and, if yes, raspy due to cigarette smoke? (hint: you probably answered "yes" to number 27)
31. Do you own the movie "Big Momma's House"?
32. Do you get huge bug-eyes while getting accused of wrongdoing?
33. Did you express a pleasant sense of surprise upon viewing the acting chops of Ice Cube, any member of the hip-hop duo OutKast or Ludacris for the first time?
34. Would you ever, other than references to a stray dog, consider using the term "off the chain", without smiling, to give an honest description of something that impresses you?
35. Do you subscribe to the mantra "finders keepers, losers weepers"?
36. In your childhood, did you ever say "I know you are but what am I" more than once within a 3-minute span?
37. Are you currently "barred out"?
38. Have you ever not been named Sasha B. Cohen and expected either a positive response or laughter from a member of the opposite sex after saying "very nice" or "high five" in an Eastern European accent on more than one hundred occasions?
If you have answered "yes" to three or more of the previous questions, stop reading my blog please. It's just not a good fit.
Thanks,
TEXAS TOM
2. Are you male and sport an earring?
3. Would you agree with the position that Denzell Washington's character from John Q. was an alright, if not great, guy?
4. Are you either a male or a female rated below a "7" with more than one "star" tattoo? (answering "yes" to this question is admitting that you suck, and that includes MJ from the Real World Philadelphia and most of the trolls who hang out at Campus Estates' pool)
5. Is your name Tom Cruise?
6. Are you my mom?
7. Do you genuinely enjoy peeling out in your car because it's awesome, not because it's hilarious?
8. Do you commonly add 69 or 420 to the end of your basic online user id's to make them more awesome, not to make them more hilarious?
9. Are you somewhat unsure what the difference between "there" and "their" is?
10. Do you hate me?
11. Do you strongly dislike me?
12. Were/are you one of the original Kings of Comedy?
13. Are you my employer?
14. Could you describe yourself as a "stank-ass (sic?) hoe"?
15. Do you typically only work-out your biceps when you go to the gym (hint: you probably already answered "yes" to some combination of 1, 2, 4 and 9)?
16. Are you that guy who used to talk really loud in my Thermodynamics class? It was also really annoying when you honked when he blew your nose during lectures.
17. Did you play Coach Orion in D3: The Mighty Ducks?
18. Do you have star tattoos?
19. Do you have star tattoos?
20. Are you a major league baseball player, past or present, who has hit 756 home runs or more in your career?
21. Are you a major league baseball player, past or present, who has played for Boston, Toronto, New York (AL), Houston, and New York (AL) again, in that order?
22. Have you ever lied to congressmen while at a hearing set up by your own lawyers?
23. Did you think Tim McGraw did more than a decent job with his role in "Friday Night Lights"?
24. Have you ever handed out flyers on the West Mall of UT's campus?
25. Did you record the hit (?) country single "21-17"?
26. Did you allow, encourage or force your child to grow out his/her rat tail after January 1, 1994?
27. Do you see no problem with the position that obtaining a cold from someone is grounds for "socking [them] in the eye"?
28. Have you ever made a "guest appearance" on the show Cops?
29. Do you wear extra-large Betty Boop, Goofey, Tweety or any Looney Toons- or Tiny Toons-themed silk-screened t-shirts?
30. Could you describe your voice as both raspy and, if yes, raspy due to cigarette smoke? (hint: you probably answered "yes" to number 27)
31. Do you own the movie "Big Momma's House"?
32. Do you get huge bug-eyes while getting accused of wrongdoing?
33. Did you express a pleasant sense of surprise upon viewing the acting chops of Ice Cube, any member of the hip-hop duo OutKast or Ludacris for the first time?
34. Would you ever, other than references to a stray dog, consider using the term "off the chain", without smiling, to give an honest description of something that impresses you?
35. Do you subscribe to the mantra "finders keepers, losers weepers"?
36. In your childhood, did you ever say "I know you are but what am I" more than once within a 3-minute span?
37. Are you currently "barred out"?
38. Have you ever not been named Sasha B. Cohen and expected either a positive response or laughter from a member of the opposite sex after saying "very nice" or "high five" in an Eastern European accent on more than one hundred occasions?
If you have answered "yes" to three or more of the previous questions, stop reading my blog please. It's just not a good fit.
Thanks,
TEXAS TOM
John Q.
This does not pertain to poker in any way, it's just a random thought. Have you ever seen that movie, John Q? It's on right now and I got to thinking: Denzell Washington's character is a TERRIBLE person. He justifies holding up a hospital with the threat of murder in an attempt to save his son's life. His son is like on some donor list for a new ass or something, but he's like 8th on the list (too low on the list and will definitely die if he doesn't get this new organ (you see, time is of the essence)). Denzell's character blames rich people or something and then takes a hospital hostage, forcing the doctor to save his son by installing a donor ass for him. Anyway, I got to thinking about a new movie idea. It's kind of like a sequel, but more like a side story. I'll call it: Denzell Washington's Character from John Q is a Terrible Person and the plot will go a little something like this....
An innocent child has been on a donor list for several years. He has been waiting patiently like everyone else. His parents are good, godfearing people who pay their bills and are not poor. One day, the kid's mother gets a phone call from an unknown number.
"Mrs. Name," the voice says, "we have found a new ass for your son. It's a perfect match."
The mother bursts into tears but, no, these were not tears of joy. Oh, no.You see, the kid died the day before due to ass complications. In the midst of her sadness and sorrow, the mother remembers something she saw on the news a week earlier. She remembers something about some dude, whose kid was 8th on the ass donor list at the time, holding a hospital hostage until a doctor put a new ass on his kid. She remembers that the doctor obliged, and that the dude's kid lived. She remembers that her own child was first on the list at the time, and that he's dead now (which is actually a pretty fresh memory).
Hell, I could keep it going. I could make a sequel where Denzell's son grows up to be a mass murderer or child molester or, even better, just some bum who openly brags about purposely doing nothing with life because he thinks the spitefulness of such an act is somewhat hilarious. None of the above would be all that ridiculous with the kind of person that raised him.
Side note 1: And don't give me some crap about how any good parent should do ANYTHING to protect their kid or something, or that Denzell's satan-like character may have been acting irrationally at the time, considering he has a dying son, and I'll never understand because I don't have kids. That's crap. That's crappier than (but not nearly as funny as) Tim McGraw's acting skills in Friday Night Lights. Terrible job McGraw. If you're of this line of thinking, honestly, please stop reading my blog, and I hope to see you in a poker room. You are a moron. Hey, I just got an idea for a new post...
Side note 2: Any use of the terms "acting" and "skills" in the above paragraph is a loose reference.
An innocent child has been on a donor list for several years. He has been waiting patiently like everyone else. His parents are good, godfearing people who pay their bills and are not poor. One day, the kid's mother gets a phone call from an unknown number.
"Mrs. Name," the voice says, "we have found a new ass for your son. It's a perfect match."
The mother bursts into tears but, no, these were not tears of joy. Oh, no.You see, the kid died the day before due to ass complications. In the midst of her sadness and sorrow, the mother remembers something she saw on the news a week earlier. She remembers something about some dude, whose kid was 8th on the ass donor list at the time, holding a hospital hostage until a doctor put a new ass on his kid. She remembers that the doctor obliged, and that the dude's kid lived. She remembers that her own child was first on the list at the time, and that he's dead now (which is actually a pretty fresh memory).
Hell, I could keep it going. I could make a sequel where Denzell's son grows up to be a mass murderer or child molester or, even better, just some bum who openly brags about purposely doing nothing with life because he thinks the spitefulness of such an act is somewhat hilarious. None of the above would be all that ridiculous with the kind of person that raised him.
Side note 1: And don't give me some crap about how any good parent should do ANYTHING to protect their kid or something, or that Denzell's satan-like character may have been acting irrationally at the time, considering he has a dying son, and I'll never understand because I don't have kids. That's crap. That's crappier than (but not nearly as funny as) Tim McGraw's acting skills in Friday Night Lights. Terrible job McGraw. If you're of this line of thinking, honestly, please stop reading my blog, and I hope to see you in a poker room. You are a moron. Hey, I just got an idea for a new post...
Side note 2: Any use of the terms "acting" and "skills" in the above paragraph is a loose reference.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Harrington on Hold 'em
At some point during our junior year, Frosty purchased the book Harrington on Hold 'em: Volume I Expert Strategy for No Limit Hold 'em Tournaments. We had heard about the book and how it was the leading strategy guide for beginning-level players. I'll be honest, the word "expert" scared me a little. I don't think I have the ability to be an "expert" at anything. That means top of your field. That means that you're technically perfect at what you do. I didn't feel I was ready for this type of reading. However, when Frosty bought the book, we agreed not to allow anyone else to read it. It was going to be our ace in the hole. We were tired of Lil Mac winning, and now we were going to do something about it.
Frosty ended up reading the entire book and his results improved noticeably. I'm not going to go into detail about the strategy he utilized or any differences in his game because I truly don't remember. I know he loosened up and began coming in first or second more often, so that was enough for me to buy into the opinion that this was a great poker book.
I, however, had a somewhat different experience with the book at that time. Every time I began reading it, I would feel like I stumbled upon some profound piece of advice and immediately go online to try it out. I never really got through the book. I think I read like 3 pages by the end of junior year.
In the fall of senior year, I stayed away from poker for the most part to concentrate on school. I think I played a tournament every now and then but didn't take it very seriously. It wasn't until the end of the semester, while at a party at Lil Mac's apartment, that I decided to rejoin the online poker world. Lil Mac and I discussed poker while drunk that night, and he told me about the successes he had been having as of late. For the 3rd time in my life, I became addicted to poker. The problem was, I didn't have any money in any of my accounts. They had been drained.
Problem: No money in my poker accounts. No money in my bank accounts.
Solution: Lil Mac sent me $70 in Absolute Poker money to be returned in full upon building my bankroll.
The loan from Lil Mac allowed me to put a great deal of stress on myself to succeed in poker this time. Therefore, I enlisted the help of Frosty and his magical books. By this time, Frosty had purchased Volumes II and III of Dan Harrington's poker books. Before playing a single hand online, I read every word of each of these books. When I returned to online poker in the spring of senior year, I was a changed man. Using the advice of Dan Harrington, I played tournaments of all types, depending on my mood. I knew how to play when the blinds were small, when the blinds got large, when the tables were short, and when it was time to go heads up. I built up my account steadily and fairly quick. I knew how to win.
One night during finals time at the end of the semester, I accomplished the greatest feat(s) of my poker career. I began playing at around 4 p.m. with a $2 buy-in to a multi-table tournament of 2000 players. At some time during the early stages of that tournament, I bought in to a 10,000 player satellite where the top 20 get a seat to another large tournament. By 10 or 11 (or later) p.m., I had won the 2000-player tournament. I played conservative in the beginning and turned up the heat when the blinds got large. I came into the final table in 6th place and proceeded to dismantle my opponents, all while building a huge chip stack in the 10,000-player satellite. After winning the smaller tournament, I focused my attention on the satellite, where I had just begun to realize I had a shot. There were about 2000 players left and I was in the top 100 (at one point very early in the tournament, I remember actually being in 1st after doubling up twice in a row; one of the double ups occurred by making a terrible pre-flop all-in call with jack-nine against ace-king. I hit my jack). Coming off the heels of a long tournament, my brain was losing strength and Frosty came over to keep me sharp. I got cards and played them well, outlasting the necessary 9,980 players to win the seat. After that, my brain should have been fried. However, I am a huge fan of efficiency (I got my degree in mechanical engineering), so I felt it was necessary to play another large tournament while my mind was obviously set on large-tournament-mode and firing on all cylinders. So, I took a dip of snuff and played on.
By this point, it was 2 or 3 a.m. and I was tired. I was honestly physically and mentally drained. It didn't matter though. My brain was programmed (by Dan Harrington). I don't remember anything about the tournament itself except the final hand and the fact that I came in third. I believe there were about 235 entrants. I was happy with my results for the night, but honestly should have won that tournament. When the table dwindled to 3 players, one particular player with a large stack was being super aggressive. I'm sure I was outplaying him because the final hand of my tournament found me calling his all in after a flop that included two overs to my pocket pair (5's). He held ace-four and was completely bluffing (or thought his ace was good). He hit his ace on the turn and I typed "GG, GLA" and went to sleep. I really should have won that tournament.
In short, you should read Dan Harrington's poker books. They help.
Frosty ended up reading the entire book and his results improved noticeably. I'm not going to go into detail about the strategy he utilized or any differences in his game because I truly don't remember. I know he loosened up and began coming in first or second more often, so that was enough for me to buy into the opinion that this was a great poker book.
I, however, had a somewhat different experience with the book at that time. Every time I began reading it, I would feel like I stumbled upon some profound piece of advice and immediately go online to try it out. I never really got through the book. I think I read like 3 pages by the end of junior year.
In the fall of senior year, I stayed away from poker for the most part to concentrate on school. I think I played a tournament every now and then but didn't take it very seriously. It wasn't until the end of the semester, while at a party at Lil Mac's apartment, that I decided to rejoin the online poker world. Lil Mac and I discussed poker while drunk that night, and he told me about the successes he had been having as of late. For the 3rd time in my life, I became addicted to poker. The problem was, I didn't have any money in any of my accounts. They had been drained.
Problem: No money in my poker accounts. No money in my bank accounts.
Solution: Lil Mac sent me $70 in Absolute Poker money to be returned in full upon building my bankroll.
The loan from Lil Mac allowed me to put a great deal of stress on myself to succeed in poker this time. Therefore, I enlisted the help of Frosty and his magical books. By this time, Frosty had purchased Volumes II and III of Dan Harrington's poker books. Before playing a single hand online, I read every word of each of these books. When I returned to online poker in the spring of senior year, I was a changed man. Using the advice of Dan Harrington, I played tournaments of all types, depending on my mood. I knew how to play when the blinds were small, when the blinds got large, when the tables were short, and when it was time to go heads up. I built up my account steadily and fairly quick. I knew how to win.
One night during finals time at the end of the semester, I accomplished the greatest feat(s) of my poker career. I began playing at around 4 p.m. with a $2 buy-in to a multi-table tournament of 2000 players. At some time during the early stages of that tournament, I bought in to a 10,000 player satellite where the top 20 get a seat to another large tournament. By 10 or 11 (or later) p.m., I had won the 2000-player tournament. I played conservative in the beginning and turned up the heat when the blinds got large. I came into the final table in 6th place and proceeded to dismantle my opponents, all while building a huge chip stack in the 10,000-player satellite. After winning the smaller tournament, I focused my attention on the satellite, where I had just begun to realize I had a shot. There were about 2000 players left and I was in the top 100 (at one point very early in the tournament, I remember actually being in 1st after doubling up twice in a row; one of the double ups occurred by making a terrible pre-flop all-in call with jack-nine against ace-king. I hit my jack). Coming off the heels of a long tournament, my brain was losing strength and Frosty came over to keep me sharp. I got cards and played them well, outlasting the necessary 9,980 players to win the seat. After that, my brain should have been fried. However, I am a huge fan of efficiency (I got my degree in mechanical engineering), so I felt it was necessary to play another large tournament while my mind was obviously set on large-tournament-mode and firing on all cylinders. So, I took a dip of snuff and played on.
By this point, it was 2 or 3 a.m. and I was tired. I was honestly physically and mentally drained. It didn't matter though. My brain was programmed (by Dan Harrington). I don't remember anything about the tournament itself except the final hand and the fact that I came in third. I believe there were about 235 entrants. I was happy with my results for the night, but honestly should have won that tournament. When the table dwindled to 3 players, one particular player with a large stack was being super aggressive. I'm sure I was outplaying him because the final hand of my tournament found me calling his all in after a flop that included two overs to my pocket pair (5's). He held ace-four and was completely bluffing (or thought his ace was good). He hit his ace on the turn and I typed "GG, GLA" and went to sleep. I really should have won that tournament.
In short, you should read Dan Harrington's poker books. They help.
Absolute Poker
After Lil Mac and I parted ways (in poker), I was thoroughly convinced that I would never again play online poker. Later that day, however, Gus informed me that the site Party Poker does not hand out bad beats as often as Poker Stars (who I was convinced cheated good players). Therefore, I opened a Party Poker account and deposited 40 dollars.
After pissing this money away, I was somewhat convinced that I would never again play online poker unless introduced to a site that didn't cheat its good players. Therefore, I was quite please when, later that day, Gus informed me that Absolute Poker did not cheat its players. So, I opened an Absolute Poker account (which I still use from time to time) and deposited 50 dollars. I played SNG's and had moderate success. Gus and I played together much in the same was as Lil Mac and me. It wasn't official, though. We didn't keep spiral notebooks or Excel spreadsheets or anything like Lil Mac and I did. In fact, I think I actually kept all the winnings myself. We were a good team and profited nicely. One difference in this business was that Gus often convinced me to play large tournaments with small buy-ins. The first time we ever played a large multi-table tournament, we came in eighth place out of several hundred and won like 100 bucks. I thought this was pretty cool and exciting but never really trusted the large tournaments as a good source of income. You just never know when you're going to win. I still play a few of these a week just for fun and finish in the money fairly consistently.
After having success at this site, I let Lil Mac know that it was a legitimate site that didn't cheat its players. He opened his own account and has had great success ever since.
Anyway, Gus graduated from college the spring of my junior year. He called me later that summer while in Las Vegas. He entered a 10-player, $40 satellite for a $400-buy-in tournament out there. He won the satellite and placed in the big tournament. He said he won 20-something thousand dollars. I never heard from him again.
After pissing this money away, I was somewhat convinced that I would never again play online poker unless introduced to a site that didn't cheat its good players. Therefore, I was quite please when, later that day, Gus informed me that Absolute Poker did not cheat its players. So, I opened an Absolute Poker account (which I still use from time to time) and deposited 50 dollars. I played SNG's and had moderate success. Gus and I played together much in the same was as Lil Mac and me. It wasn't official, though. We didn't keep spiral notebooks or Excel spreadsheets or anything like Lil Mac and I did. In fact, I think I actually kept all the winnings myself. We were a good team and profited nicely. One difference in this business was that Gus often convinced me to play large tournaments with small buy-ins. The first time we ever played a large multi-table tournament, we came in eighth place out of several hundred and won like 100 bucks. I thought this was pretty cool and exciting but never really trusted the large tournaments as a good source of income. You just never know when you're going to win. I still play a few of these a week just for fun and finish in the money fairly consistently.
After having success at this site, I let Lil Mac know that it was a legitimate site that didn't cheat its players. He opened his own account and has had great success ever since.
Anyway, Gus graduated from college the spring of my junior year. He called me later that summer while in Las Vegas. He entered a 10-player, $40 satellite for a $400-buy-in tournament out there. He won the satellite and placed in the big tournament. He said he won 20-something thousand dollars. I never heard from him again.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
The Poker Business (cont'd)
I think it was appropriate to explain the general philosophy that dominated the early stages of our online poker business. We sat around, waiting on a big hand. We spent most of the time at $.25/.50 or $.50/1 online tables. Sometimes we ventured into the $1/2 range. We played solid hands for the most part and were profiting nicely.
However, the business was doomed before it really began for two reasons:
1) We are two cocky S.O.B.'s;
2) We began playing tournaments;
3) We weren't that good at poker.
The combination of 1) and 3) was truly a disaster. When combined with 2), it led to a quick ruin for the business. You see, you can play at cash games, sit around and wait for good cards, even if the competition is a little out of your league, and still be OK. We had some lucky streaks and thought we were making good profits. Then, we got bored. We began playing 9-Player SNG's for $20 a pop. We typically sat around, waited on good hands and played solid until the blinds ate up our modest stack. I think we came in fourth just about every time we played. Right out of the money.
The more we lost, however, the more we wanted to play. So we kept going. Eventually, the gains from the times we placed could not cover the losses from the buy-ins and our bankroll dwindled. The fact that it was the two of us playing together actually hurt us. This is because when two people argue about a situation, the one not taking the risk can typically win the argument. Err on the safe side, right? Well, if you use this strategy at a cash game table and assume the risky choice is right 50 percent of the time and the safe fold is correct 50 percent of the time (which is about right, considering I have a career 53% winning rate at showdowns on the river and am, by nature, a weak and conservative player so I am more apt to fold a winning hand on the flop or turn), then you should break even. At a tournament, however, it is more profitable to choose the risky side. This is because you must accumulate chips to win these tournaments. You must make technically bad plays in order to get enough chips to win because of the increasing blinds. And remember, there's no money for fourth place. At a cash game, technically, if you are seated with 9 players and are the fourth best player, you will come out ahead over time (there are 3 players better than you and 5 worse). This paradox is the exact reason I no longer play SNG tournaments (coupled with the fact that the winnings are arbitrarily distributed between players and have no correlation to the plays you make). I don't see a real edge in playing tournaments as opposed to playing cash games and getting instant returns on your good plays (which is not arbitrary at all). This is probably why some of the greatest poker minds in the world have no World Series of Poker Bracelets to show for it (and why Phil Hellmuth has ten bracelets while being unsuccessful at serious cash games).
At the end of the day, Lil Mac and I decided to disband the business and had the following things to show for it:
1) $50 from one single cash out;
2) $0.24 in my PokerStars account (not enough to buy in at the $.01/.02 tables);
3) The Top Gun play;
4) Some inside jokes that are only funny when playing poker or drunk and talking about poker;
5) Lil Mac lost his real job;
6) An honest feeling that poker sites cheat somehow to reward bad players;
7) A Greg Raymer 2004 World Series of Poker Poster purchased with Frequent Player Points.
However, the business was doomed before it really began for two reasons:
1) We are two cocky S.O.B.'s;
2) We began playing tournaments;
3) We weren't that good at poker.
The combination of 1) and 3) was truly a disaster. When combined with 2), it led to a quick ruin for the business. You see, you can play at cash games, sit around and wait for good cards, even if the competition is a little out of your league, and still be OK. We had some lucky streaks and thought we were making good profits. Then, we got bored. We began playing 9-Player SNG's for $20 a pop. We typically sat around, waited on good hands and played solid until the blinds ate up our modest stack. I think we came in fourth just about every time we played. Right out of the money.
The more we lost, however, the more we wanted to play. So we kept going. Eventually, the gains from the times we placed could not cover the losses from the buy-ins and our bankroll dwindled. The fact that it was the two of us playing together actually hurt us. This is because when two people argue about a situation, the one not taking the risk can typically win the argument. Err on the safe side, right? Well, if you use this strategy at a cash game table and assume the risky choice is right 50 percent of the time and the safe fold is correct 50 percent of the time (which is about right, considering I have a career 53% winning rate at showdowns on the river and am, by nature, a weak and conservative player so I am more apt to fold a winning hand on the flop or turn), then you should break even. At a tournament, however, it is more profitable to choose the risky side. This is because you must accumulate chips to win these tournaments. You must make technically bad plays in order to get enough chips to win because of the increasing blinds. And remember, there's no money for fourth place. At a cash game, technically, if you are seated with 9 players and are the fourth best player, you will come out ahead over time (there are 3 players better than you and 5 worse). This paradox is the exact reason I no longer play SNG tournaments (coupled with the fact that the winnings are arbitrarily distributed between players and have no correlation to the plays you make). I don't see a real edge in playing tournaments as opposed to playing cash games and getting instant returns on your good plays (which is not arbitrary at all). This is probably why some of the greatest poker minds in the world have no World Series of Poker Bracelets to show for it (and why Phil Hellmuth has ten bracelets while being unsuccessful at serious cash games).
At the end of the day, Lil Mac and I decided to disband the business and had the following things to show for it:
1) $50 from one single cash out;
2) $0.24 in my PokerStars account (not enough to buy in at the $.01/.02 tables);
3) The Top Gun play;
4) Some inside jokes that are only funny when playing poker or drunk and talking about poker;
5) Lil Mac lost his real job;
6) An honest feeling that poker sites cheat somehow to reward bad players;
7) A Greg Raymer 2004 World Series of Poker Poster purchased with Frequent Player Points.
General Philosophy
I believe that any logical beginning poker player should have one general philosophy: be cautious and wait for the big hand.
You shouldn't get caught up in making perfect decisions at a small stakes online poker table. There's no need for a great call with a marginal hand, a great bluff with a weak hand or a great lay down with a great hand. Generally speaking, you should make calls with a decent hand and see what happens on the next card, fold your weak hands and re-raise or call with a great hand. This is simply because the play is too erratic and most of your opponents won't really know what you're trying to do when you construct that great bluff, and they typically bet when they get a piece of the flop. All you can do is ensure that your piece of the flop has a better kicker.
So that takes care of being cautious, which most people think is the hard part. Not to me. Being cautious is the easy part. The decisions are simple as long as you have patience. Here's an example small stakes online hand that may seem like a tough decision or even an easy decision (to make the wrong play). Of course, you don't know your opponents hands while you're playing, but that doesn't matter. I'll let you know what everyone is thinking, and to do that you must know their cards.
Situation: $.25/.50 cash game
Opponent A likes to come over the top with draws and be aggressive.
Opponent B likes to makes calls with draws and any pair.
Me ($23): Ks7s (king of spades, seven of spades)
Opponent A ($50): 99
Opponent B ($19): A2o
Opponent A, in first position, limps in.
Opponent B, in the small blind, limps in.
Me, in the big blind, check.
Everyone else has folded.
The flop: Ad 7c 2d
I think:
You are first to act. You know people love to limp in with any ace in small stakes online poker, but you've hit your seven. People also love to limp with KJ, QJ, QT, K9, any pocket pair below ten. A is aggressive, so if you check he'll bet and you won't have a clue what he has. So bet the minimum. Aggressive small stakes online poker players see a come-over-the-top play (COTT or re-raise) as a very strong and great way to bluff. This also means they don't do it every hand, that's why it's called "making a play." The odds are that Player A will call with the logic, "that's only 50 cents" no matter what he has. You don't care about his call. I'd assume my seven beats whatever he has, and more than 50 percent of the time I'll be right, so I'll make that play every time. You know B will only call with some sort of something. It may be a 2, it may be a pair. But he'll have something if he calls.
I act:
Bet .50 at a 1.50 pot (1/3 of pot or "feeler bet"). Pot is now $2.00.
A Thinks:
LOL. Only 50 cents. I'll call.
A acts:
Calls .50 at 2.00 pot (call 1/4 of pot). Pot is now $2.50
B Thinks:
WOW TWO THINGS ON THE BOARD MATCH THE TWO THINGS I HAVE!!!
B Acts:
Re-raises the minimum possible amount because he's too lazy and dumb to think so he just clicks the re-raise button to show off his great hand (Re-raise to $1.00). Pot is now $3.50.
I think:
Moron. The pot is $3.50 and I only have to put in .50 to call. That's 7-1 odds. That's great odds. However, you know that B has more than just something because he re-raised. So at bare minimum, he has an ace. So, assuming he has an ace, you will need a seven or a king to win this. That's 3 outs for the king and 2 outs for the seven = 5 outs. You've seen 5 cards thus far out of 52. 47 left. You have 5 outs, so 42 cards are no good. 42/5 or about 8-1. Since online players, specifically player B, like to simply make calls, and you are smart enough to fold when you don't hit those odds are good enough to make this call. However, the player right after you likes to make plays. He didn't take his first opportunity to make a play, and he's definitely calling, so there are several cards you really don't want to see on the turn or river, even if he doesn't make a play here. JUST FOLD - your seven is no good and Player A may want to do something crazy at some point. If it were one-on-one against Player B I would call. Hell, I would probably even if there was a single spade on the board or some gut shot straight draw, given the great implied odds for these types of players when you hit a flush or straight.
I act:
You fold.
Player A thinks:
Only .50 again. Hell yeah.
Player A acts:
He calls .50 at a 3.50 (7-1 odds). Pot is now $4.00
The turn: (Ad 7c 2d) 8h
I think:
Good.
Player A thinks:
I haven't done anything crazy yet. If he comes over the top, I know he has a really good hand. I'll bet $2 and maybe he'll fold. Also I have 99, which is AWESOME! ONLY ONE OVER!
Player A acts:
Bets $2 at a $4 pot (1/2 the pot). Pot is now $6.
Player B thinks:
I have an ace and a two, but that bet is too big to re-raise. I'll call.
Player B acts:
Calls $2 for a $6 pot (3:1 odds). Pot is now $8.
The River: (Ad 7c 2d 8h) Kc
I Think:
Hmmm wonder if I'd be good here. Don't care.
Player A thinks:
I'm crazy as hell. I'll bet the pot.
Player A acts:
Bets $8 at an $8 pot (1/1 at the pot). Pot is now $16.
Player B thinks:
I have an ace AND a two. I'm a little scared, but of course I'll call.
Player B acts:
Calls $8 for a $16 pot (2:1 odds). Wins $24.
Player B wins with 2 pair.
I think:
I gotta check this hand history.
I act:
Check the hand history and write everything down that you just saw.
Player A thinks:
F*** this. I'm leaving.
Player A acts:
Leaves table. Empty seat.
Player B thinks:
I'm good at poker.
Player B acts:
Stays and loses most of his stack to you.
A hand like this is very typical for me. I like to make my money when I flop a great hand. Don't get me wrong, I have to make some tough calls when I'm pretty sure I'm ahead and a lot of money is at stake. I counter this by only going into tables with 25 times the small blind plus the big blind (e.g. at a .25/.50 game, that's .75*25 = 18.75). That way, in the rare case that I make a bad call for a lot of money, it hedges the overall affect. I never go on tilt. I'm always on my game. Tilt can come at a great cost, but we'll talk about that later.
The important things to take from this hand are as follows:
1) I did my homework and knew what type of player each was, in general.
2) I accomplished all of my goals at the cheapest possible price. If I would have bet $1.00, the same conclusions could have been made.
3) I didn't fall in love with middle pair, and I knew how to fold it.
4) I wasn't excited about K-7-suited to begin with.
5) I would have liked Player A to stay. Those guys give out the most money to a player like me.
6) I checked hand history after the play because both players had to show their cards. I now know how they think in this given situation and can write it in their notes.
You shouldn't get caught up in making perfect decisions at a small stakes online poker table. There's no need for a great call with a marginal hand, a great bluff with a weak hand or a great lay down with a great hand. Generally speaking, you should make calls with a decent hand and see what happens on the next card, fold your weak hands and re-raise or call with a great hand. This is simply because the play is too erratic and most of your opponents won't really know what you're trying to do when you construct that great bluff, and they typically bet when they get a piece of the flop. All you can do is ensure that your piece of the flop has a better kicker.
So that takes care of being cautious, which most people think is the hard part. Not to me. Being cautious is the easy part. The decisions are simple as long as you have patience. Here's an example small stakes online hand that may seem like a tough decision or even an easy decision (to make the wrong play). Of course, you don't know your opponents hands while you're playing, but that doesn't matter. I'll let you know what everyone is thinking, and to do that you must know their cards.
Situation: $.25/.50 cash game
Opponent A likes to come over the top with draws and be aggressive.
Opponent B likes to makes calls with draws and any pair.
Me ($23): Ks7s (king of spades, seven of spades)
Opponent A ($50): 99
Opponent B ($19): A2o
Opponent A, in first position, limps in.
Opponent B, in the small blind, limps in.
Me, in the big blind, check.
Everyone else has folded.
The flop: Ad 7c 2d
I think:
You are first to act. You know people love to limp in with any ace in small stakes online poker, but you've hit your seven. People also love to limp with KJ, QJ, QT, K9, any pocket pair below ten. A is aggressive, so if you check he'll bet and you won't have a clue what he has. So bet the minimum. Aggressive small stakes online poker players see a come-over-the-top play (COTT or re-raise) as a very strong and great way to bluff. This also means they don't do it every hand, that's why it's called "making a play." The odds are that Player A will call with the logic, "that's only 50 cents" no matter what he has. You don't care about his call. I'd assume my seven beats whatever he has, and more than 50 percent of the time I'll be right, so I'll make that play every time. You know B will only call with some sort of something. It may be a 2, it may be a pair. But he'll have something if he calls.
I act:
Bet .50 at a 1.50 pot (1/3 of pot or "feeler bet"). Pot is now $2.00.
A Thinks:
LOL. Only 50 cents. I'll call.
A acts:
Calls .50 at 2.00 pot (call 1/4 of pot). Pot is now $2.50
B Thinks:
WOW TWO THINGS ON THE BOARD MATCH THE TWO THINGS I HAVE!!!
B Acts:
Re-raises the minimum possible amount because he's too lazy and dumb to think so he just clicks the re-raise button to show off his great hand (Re-raise to $1.00). Pot is now $3.50.
I think:
Moron. The pot is $3.50 and I only have to put in .50 to call. That's 7-1 odds. That's great odds. However, you know that B has more than just something because he re-raised. So at bare minimum, he has an ace. So, assuming he has an ace, you will need a seven or a king to win this. That's 3 outs for the king and 2 outs for the seven = 5 outs. You've seen 5 cards thus far out of 52. 47 left. You have 5 outs, so 42 cards are no good. 42/5 or about 8-1. Since online players, specifically player B, like to simply make calls, and you are smart enough to fold when you don't hit those odds are good enough to make this call. However, the player right after you likes to make plays. He didn't take his first opportunity to make a play, and he's definitely calling, so there are several cards you really don't want to see on the turn or river, even if he doesn't make a play here. JUST FOLD - your seven is no good and Player A may want to do something crazy at some point. If it were one-on-one against Player B I would call. Hell, I would probably even if there was a single spade on the board or some gut shot straight draw, given the great implied odds for these types of players when you hit a flush or straight.
I act:
You fold.
Player A thinks:
Only .50 again. Hell yeah.
Player A acts:
He calls .50 at a 3.50 (7-1 odds). Pot is now $4.00
The turn: (Ad 7c 2d) 8h
I think:
Good.
Player A thinks:
I haven't done anything crazy yet. If he comes over the top, I know he has a really good hand. I'll bet $2 and maybe he'll fold. Also I have 99, which is AWESOME! ONLY ONE OVER!
Player A acts:
Bets $2 at a $4 pot (1/2 the pot). Pot is now $6.
Player B thinks:
I have an ace and a two, but that bet is too big to re-raise. I'll call.
Player B acts:
Calls $2 for a $6 pot (3:1 odds). Pot is now $8.
The River: (Ad 7c 2d 8h) Kc
I Think:
Hmmm wonder if I'd be good here. Don't care.
Player A thinks:
I'm crazy as hell. I'll bet the pot.
Player A acts:
Bets $8 at an $8 pot (1/1 at the pot). Pot is now $16.
Player B thinks:
I have an ace AND a two. I'm a little scared, but of course I'll call.
Player B acts:
Calls $8 for a $16 pot (2:1 odds). Wins $24.
Player B wins with 2 pair.
I think:
I gotta check this hand history.
I act:
Check the hand history and write everything down that you just saw.
Player A thinks:
F*** this. I'm leaving.
Player A acts:
Leaves table. Empty seat.
Player B thinks:
I'm good at poker.
Player B acts:
Stays and loses most of his stack to you.
A hand like this is very typical for me. I like to make my money when I flop a great hand. Don't get me wrong, I have to make some tough calls when I'm pretty sure I'm ahead and a lot of money is at stake. I counter this by only going into tables with 25 times the small blind plus the big blind (e.g. at a .25/.50 game, that's .75*25 = 18.75). That way, in the rare case that I make a bad call for a lot of money, it hedges the overall affect. I never go on tilt. I'm always on my game. Tilt can come at a great cost, but we'll talk about that later.
The important things to take from this hand are as follows:
1) I did my homework and knew what type of player each was, in general.
2) I accomplished all of my goals at the cheapest possible price. If I would have bet $1.00, the same conclusions could have been made.
3) I didn't fall in love with middle pair, and I knew how to fold it.
4) I wasn't excited about K-7-suited to begin with.
5) I would have liked Player A to stay. Those guys give out the most money to a player like me.
6) I checked hand history after the play because both players had to show their cards. I now know how they think in this given situation and can write it in their notes.
The Poker Business
The Poker Business was simple. It was co-owned by Lil Mac and myself. He would call me whenever he woke up and simply say, "you want to go to work." I would haul my mangy ass out of bed and walk over to his house (we lived in the same complex, remember). We would sit at his computer, close the door and sign on to Poker Stars under his name and begin playing.
We discussed every hand and rarely argued about the final decisions. Whoever was sitting at the main chair at the time, doing the mouse-clicking, had the final say on 50-50 decisions. We took turns sitting at the main chair. We split all the profit at the end of the day and sent the money via my own Poker Stars account. If we lost on the day, I sent some back. We ate frozen chicken nuggets for breakfast lunch and dinner, took No-Doze when needed and drank lots of water. J.P. quit his day job. It was perfect. We would often play from about 10 a.m. to 5 a.m. with breaks after large hands or headaches. The consumption of time of this Poker Business occurred much to the dismay of our friends, who were often partying outside of our door. We were called names which I would rather not repeat. Often, some of them would come into the room and watch as the stakes got higher and higher. It was fairly exciting. We were involved in $300 pots on many occasions and won more than we lost. We were more hooked than ever before, and the home game was all but obsolete by a month into our spring semester.
We remained friends with Gus and he, too, began playing online poker using his Bodog gambling account. At parties, Gus, Lil Mac and I would discuss strategy. It was around this time that I invented my patented move: The Top Gun.
We discussed every hand and rarely argued about the final decisions. Whoever was sitting at the main chair at the time, doing the mouse-clicking, had the final say on 50-50 decisions. We took turns sitting at the main chair. We split all the profit at the end of the day and sent the money via my own Poker Stars account. If we lost on the day, I sent some back. We ate frozen chicken nuggets for breakfast lunch and dinner, took No-Doze when needed and drank lots of water. J.P. quit his day job. It was perfect. We would often play from about 10 a.m. to 5 a.m. with breaks after large hands or headaches. The consumption of time of this Poker Business occurred much to the dismay of our friends, who were often partying outside of our door. We were called names which I would rather not repeat. Often, some of them would come into the room and watch as the stakes got higher and higher. It was fairly exciting. We were involved in $300 pots on many occasions and won more than we lost. We were more hooked than ever before, and the home game was all but obsolete by a month into our spring semester.
We remained friends with Gus and he, too, began playing online poker using his Bodog gambling account. At parties, Gus, Lil Mac and I would discuss strategy. It was around this time that I invented my patented move: The Top Gun.
Discovering Online Poker
My Online Discovery
A short time after Gus made his first appearance, Frosty introduced to me the central idea behind this entire blog: small stakes online poker.
It was after another disappointing defeat at the home game late in the Fall semester of junior year. After Frosty was knocked out, he said something to me about how he made 30 bucks or something playing online poker. I was like, "Really? What site?"
Hell, only a few months earlier I had been calculating fake profits at a play money online table, so how could this be any different? And now that I knew a friend who had tried it successfully, I was excited.
"PokerStars," Frosty said.
We set up my account and I used my debit card to deposit $50 (the bare minimum at the time, and this would not be the last time Mr. Visa would be involved in my poker life). The first table I sat down at was definitely a cash game, and I'm pretty sure it was the lowest no-limit stakes possible: $.01/.02 6-player. I played for about an hour and remember actually having remarkable results considering the small-sized blinds. At quitting time, my account had been built up somewhere around $80. I was pumped. I just lost 5 bucks in a home game that took 2 hours of my life and here I was up to $36 profit at my first ever attempt. You see, small stakes online poker was perfect for me. Here were players that made Frosty, Lil Mac, Juddy, J and Gus look like Doyle, Phil, Daniel, Phil, and the real Gus. These people were calling stations. This fed perfectly into my weak, conservative style. I didn't need to worry about re-raises because no one knew when to make the plays. When I had the best hand, which was usual as I was conservative, I bet and they called. When I had the worst hand and they bet, I folded. Being weak was OK because people only bet when they hit and I only called when I hit. And as I only played good hands, I could typically out-kick or simply out-pair them on most hands where a big pot accumulated. It wasn't fun. I saw it as a cash cow.
Lil Mac's Online Discovery
I played online for about an hour a day, losing some and winning some, and had built my count above $100. I only played cash games. I had no clue what was going on. The cash games were the first thing I saw when I opened Poker Stars, so I played them. Anyway, about a week into my online discovery, Lil Mac knocked me out of a home game. As I graciously arose from my seat instead of making one of my usual comments, such as "terribly played" or "you called my preflop raise with 5-6 suited, typical", a couple of the guys took notice.
"It doesn't matter," I said. "I can make that 5 bucks back in 5 minutes online."
Lil Mac's ears perked. When his tournament finally ended, he meandered into my room to see what this was all about. He watched me play for a while.
After setting up his account, Lil Mac began playing online. We would call each other with results and by the middle of Christmas Break, a full-blown poker business had broken out.
A short time after Gus made his first appearance, Frosty introduced to me the central idea behind this entire blog: small stakes online poker.
It was after another disappointing defeat at the home game late in the Fall semester of junior year. After Frosty was knocked out, he said something to me about how he made 30 bucks or something playing online poker. I was like, "Really? What site?"
Hell, only a few months earlier I had been calculating fake profits at a play money online table, so how could this be any different? And now that I knew a friend who had tried it successfully, I was excited.
"PokerStars," Frosty said.
We set up my account and I used my debit card to deposit $50 (the bare minimum at the time, and this would not be the last time Mr. Visa would be involved in my poker life). The first table I sat down at was definitely a cash game, and I'm pretty sure it was the lowest no-limit stakes possible: $.01/.02 6-player. I played for about an hour and remember actually having remarkable results considering the small-sized blinds. At quitting time, my account had been built up somewhere around $80. I was pumped. I just lost 5 bucks in a home game that took 2 hours of my life and here I was up to $36 profit at my first ever attempt. You see, small stakes online poker was perfect for me. Here were players that made Frosty, Lil Mac, Juddy, J and Gus look like Doyle, Phil, Daniel, Phil, and the real Gus. These people were calling stations. This fed perfectly into my weak, conservative style. I didn't need to worry about re-raises because no one knew when to make the plays. When I had the best hand, which was usual as I was conservative, I bet and they called. When I had the worst hand and they bet, I folded. Being weak was OK because people only bet when they hit and I only called when I hit. And as I only played good hands, I could typically out-kick or simply out-pair them on most hands where a big pot accumulated. It wasn't fun. I saw it as a cash cow.
Lil Mac's Online Discovery
I played online for about an hour a day, losing some and winning some, and had built my count above $100. I only played cash games. I had no clue what was going on. The cash games were the first thing I saw when I opened Poker Stars, so I played them. Anyway, about a week into my online discovery, Lil Mac knocked me out of a home game. As I graciously arose from my seat instead of making one of my usual comments, such as "terribly played" or "you called my preflop raise with 5-6 suited, typical", a couple of the guys took notice.
"It doesn't matter," I said. "I can make that 5 bucks back in 5 minutes online."
Lil Mac's ears perked. When his tournament finally ended, he meandered into my room to see what this was all about. He watched me play for a while.
After setting up his account, Lil Mac began playing online. We would call each other with results and by the middle of Christmas Break, a full-blown poker business had broken out.
The Pigeon-Hole, Dave and The Wheel
For the record, I'm eating 2 large fried eggs and a piece of toast and jelly as I type this.
Yesterday, I left off with the story of how this whole poker thing got started for me. Later, I'll explain how real money online play becomes a part of my life. First, though, I'd like to introduce a seventh member of the poker crew, who we'll refer to as Gus.
I first met Gus when Juddy brought him over to The Table some time late in the Fall semester of junior year, and the dynamics had changed somewhat over time and are described below:
Lil Mac: Solid, Tricky and Trappy, Aggressive
Me: Weak, Tight, Conservative (this may just be the worst hold 'em profile of all time)
Frosty: Solid, Tight, Conservative
Juddy: Solid, Loose, Moderately aggressive
J: Solid, Mix, Conservative (still not sure)
Gus: ???
Five Dollar Dave: Not allowed to play*....
*see Bottom of Page
To make a long story short, Gus shows up at our house with Juddy wearing short khaki shorts, a polo shirt, a polo hat, deck shoes, polo cologne and smoking polo cigarettes.
"Wait," I thought, "I've seen this before."
The first time I had ever witnessed a live poker game was at an unnamed frat house on campus. Gus was somewhat fat, so I thought, "We're f*****." I knew he was going to ruin the game.
An hour later, the entire table stared in amazement by how many great hands Gus must have been picking up. Lil Mac was the most distraught as his less-than-half-the-pot sized bets he always used to pick at small pots were being re-raised, called and re-re-raised at every other attempt. Gus was willing to risk half his stack at any given time to take down a pot. If the pot was small, he still bet big, knowing we were a bunch of pussies. We joked about how every time Gus played a pot, he was at some point going to throw a $4000 bet (our stacks started at $10,000 tournament chips). To this day, a $4000 bet is retorted with, "OK, Gus."
As Gus kept betting and betting and re-raising, Frosty eventually began calling him Gus Hansen due to his aggressive style. The nickname stuck and when Gus finally caught on, he spouted out the now-famous line:
"I'm not going to be pigeon-holed as Gus Hansen!"
Gus had fairly good results at our game, but I believe we were all able to adjust our game to his style somewhat and the results remained quite the same as before. We each won our fair share of tournaments, except me, and we were all better players for him showing up.
About a month later, Gus (still not really a friend, just a poker player) bummed a ride with us to make a trip down to College Station (home of the Texas A&M Aggies) for a party. The morning after the party, Gus and I polished off a bottle of Captain Morgan's rum and told Chuck Norris jokes for about 4 hours. We quickly became close friends until his disappearance later that year. We often talked poker, got drunk and even started a poker business partnership when Lil Mac and I ended our little venture (I will explain all of this in later posts). I miss that son of a bitch.
*The Five Dollar Dave Hand (aka The Punch-in-Face Fold)
The following hand example describes the demise of Five Dollar Dave as a regular at our poker games. I always felt he was the worst player of all time. He made loose calls. I don't know if he ever folded any sort of draw whatsoever. He never won, but he knocked me out of several tournaments early as I attempted to chase him off his draws and was too pot committed by the river to let go of my hands. He often hit, and it always seemed to be against me. Like I said, he never actually won; he was simply a pot sweetener for everyone else except me, hence the name Five Dollar Dave (adding an extra $5 to the overall winnings). Some of the cards and bet amounts have been made up because my memory isn't that awesome. However, the situation is the same (number of players in pots, number of overs, types of draws, bets, folds etc.)
Situation: Home game, $5 buy-in, all 6 original players. By this point, everyone knew how I felt about Dave (and even Juddy) and his reluctance to fold at any point. Dave knew I hated him somewhat based on the comments I often made after his suck-outs. He would always respond to me with, "Well at least that hand kicked your ass." As if, since he won that particular hand, his decisions were correct. I strongly dislike this person (for the record, I love Juddy, he's a good friend and a good poker player, but I did take some rough beats from him).
Blinds: 100/200
Me: First position, QQ
Dave: Second, Ac5c (you see, Dave especially loved hands such as this, where cards could come which would make the low end of the straight or a nut flush. After a good ripping, he would always defend such hands with the comment, "I had a wheel draw". Yeah, we're talking that shitty of a poker player here).
Pot: 300
I think: Hell yeah, I have QQ. Let's see who's gonna suck out on me this time.
I act: Raise to 600 (Pot = 900)
Dave thinks (sort of): WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!! NOT ONLY ARE THESE BAD BOYS SUITED, BUT I HAVE AN AUTOMATIC WHEEL DRAW!!!! LET'S SEE THIS FLOP!!! Keep your calm. Don't let them know you're sitting on a monster.
Dave Acts: Calls immediately (Pot = 1500)
I think: Here we go again.
Fold
Fold
Small blind: Fold
Big Blind: Call (Pot = 1900)
Pot: 1900
Flop: 2c 3h 7h
Big blind: Bets 500 (Pot 2400)
I think: Ok, he has a 7 or something. I'm gonna end this now. Only Dave is gonna f******* call.
I act: Re-raise to 1500. (Pot 3900)
Dave thinks: You mean I only have to stick 3 of these red circles into the middle of the table and I get to see one more of those rectangular squares with pictures on them!!! WOooooooooooooooooot!!! WHEEEL DRIZZZAW!!!
Dave acts: Calls 1500. (Pot 5400)
I think: Of course. This is gonna suck.
Big Blind: Folds (I'm assuming a seven or pocket 8's here)
I think: Ok. Just me and dumbass.
Pot: 5400
Turn: (2c 3h 7h) Tc
I think: Good. No ace, no king. Shit-for-brains over there could have anything, but I have to bet something scary.
I act: I bet 5000. (Pot 10400)
Dave thinks: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!! He's walking right into this one. Now I have a nut flush draw (not to mention my even-more-badass wheel draw). Easy call.
Dave acts: Call (Pot 15400)
I think: f***. I saw that sick smile on his face when that card came out. He has two f***** clubs. I know it. Please no club on turn. Please no club on turn. Please no club on turn. Seriously, he called so damn fast. I hate him.
I begin talking and muttering out loud about how I know he has 2 clubs and how bad he sucks at this game. I explain pot odds as I mutter. I repeat the amount I bet and the speed at which he called. I talk about wheel draws and how dumb it is to chase them because there's no bonus points involved here.
I'm already mad about the club that is sure to come.
Pot: 15400
River: (2c 3h 7h Tc) 8c
I think: Of. F***ing. Course.
The club comes out and I stare over at Dave, who's sitting no more than 4 inches from me. I stare at him hard. I look at his sad, sorry dough eyes and this shit-eating grin on his face. I seriously hate him at this point. Over half of my stack is gone just from this hand alone. I know if he bets, I can still fold. But I probably won't fold. I want to make him turn his sorry ass cards over and show his 2 clubs. So I glare some more. I wait. I clench my right fist. I have to check. I know it's not technically correct, but I know what he has.
I act: I check (Pot = 15400).
Then, something happened. I boiled over.
I speak: "You draw chasing S.O.B."
I act: I lift my already-clenched fist up in the air and stand up next to him. I put my fist two inches from his head as if I'm ready to swing as soon as he makes this probably all-in bet.
I speak again: "You suck at poker. I'm never playing as long as this guy plays. Ever again."
Dave thinks: Oh no. This guy who barely knows me is going to punch me in my head. Why? Surely he must know I had the wheel draw. Oh well, if I don't win this game, it's only 5 bucks. I can make that in one hour.
Dave acts: He checks (Pot = 15400)
I think: Holy crap, maybe he had two hearts, or just a wheel draw. I may still win this pot.
I act: I turn over my two queens, 75% sure he still had two clubs but didn't bet because he's a terrible poker player.
Dave acts: He turns over his Ac5c.
I speak: "Get the hell out of my house. Don't ever come back. You suck. You have to bet when you hit the nuts!!!"
Dave: "I don't care. It's only 5 bucks. I can make that in an hour at my job."
Everyone else: Laughs heartily as someone says, "I hope you make 5 bucks in an hour."
I act: I punch the first of many holes in our utility room door.
After losing that night, Dave never played poker at any game I was ever involved with ever again. He sucks.
Yesterday, I left off with the story of how this whole poker thing got started for me. Later, I'll explain how real money online play becomes a part of my life. First, though, I'd like to introduce a seventh member of the poker crew, who we'll refer to as Gus.
I first met Gus when Juddy brought him over to The Table some time late in the Fall semester of junior year, and the dynamics had changed somewhat over time and are described below:
Lil Mac: Solid, Tricky and Trappy, Aggressive
Me: Weak, Tight, Conservative (this may just be the worst hold 'em profile of all time)
Frosty: Solid, Tight, Conservative
Juddy: Solid, Loose, Moderately aggressive
J: Solid, Mix, Conservative (still not sure)
Gus: ???
Five Dollar Dave: Not allowed to play*....
*see Bottom of Page
To make a long story short, Gus shows up at our house with Juddy wearing short khaki shorts, a polo shirt, a polo hat, deck shoes, polo cologne and smoking polo cigarettes.
"Wait," I thought, "I've seen this before."
The first time I had ever witnessed a live poker game was at an unnamed frat house on campus. Gus was somewhat fat, so I thought, "We're f*****." I knew he was going to ruin the game.
An hour later, the entire table stared in amazement by how many great hands Gus must have been picking up. Lil Mac was the most distraught as his less-than-half-the-pot sized bets he always used to pick at small pots were being re-raised, called and re-re-raised at every other attempt. Gus was willing to risk half his stack at any given time to take down a pot. If the pot was small, he still bet big, knowing we were a bunch of pussies. We joked about how every time Gus played a pot, he was at some point going to throw a $4000 bet (our stacks started at $10,000 tournament chips). To this day, a $4000 bet is retorted with, "OK, Gus."
As Gus kept betting and betting and re-raising, Frosty eventually began calling him Gus Hansen due to his aggressive style. The nickname stuck and when Gus finally caught on, he spouted out the now-famous line:
"I'm not going to be pigeon-holed as Gus Hansen!"
Gus had fairly good results at our game, but I believe we were all able to adjust our game to his style somewhat and the results remained quite the same as before. We each won our fair share of tournaments, except me, and we were all better players for him showing up.
About a month later, Gus (still not really a friend, just a poker player) bummed a ride with us to make a trip down to College Station (home of the Texas A&M Aggies) for a party. The morning after the party, Gus and I polished off a bottle of Captain Morgan's rum and told Chuck Norris jokes for about 4 hours. We quickly became close friends until his disappearance later that year. We often talked poker, got drunk and even started a poker business partnership when Lil Mac and I ended our little venture (I will explain all of this in later posts). I miss that son of a bitch.
*The Five Dollar Dave Hand (aka The Punch-in-Face Fold)
The following hand example describes the demise of Five Dollar Dave as a regular at our poker games. I always felt he was the worst player of all time. He made loose calls. I don't know if he ever folded any sort of draw whatsoever. He never won, but he knocked me out of several tournaments early as I attempted to chase him off his draws and was too pot committed by the river to let go of my hands. He often hit, and it always seemed to be against me. Like I said, he never actually won; he was simply a pot sweetener for everyone else except me, hence the name Five Dollar Dave (adding an extra $5 to the overall winnings). Some of the cards and bet amounts have been made up because my memory isn't that awesome. However, the situation is the same (number of players in pots, number of overs, types of draws, bets, folds etc.)
Situation: Home game, $5 buy-in, all 6 original players. By this point, everyone knew how I felt about Dave (and even Juddy) and his reluctance to fold at any point. Dave knew I hated him somewhat based on the comments I often made after his suck-outs. He would always respond to me with, "Well at least that hand kicked your ass." As if, since he won that particular hand, his decisions were correct. I strongly dislike this person (for the record, I love Juddy, he's a good friend and a good poker player, but I did take some rough beats from him).
Blinds: 100/200
Me: First position, QQ
Dave: Second, Ac5c (you see, Dave especially loved hands such as this, where cards could come which would make the low end of the straight or a nut flush. After a good ripping, he would always defend such hands with the comment, "I had a wheel draw". Yeah, we're talking that shitty of a poker player here).
Pot: 300
I think: Hell yeah, I have QQ. Let's see who's gonna suck out on me this time.
I act: Raise to 600 (Pot = 900)
Dave thinks (sort of): WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!! NOT ONLY ARE THESE BAD BOYS SUITED, BUT I HAVE AN AUTOMATIC WHEEL DRAW!!!! LET'S SEE THIS FLOP!!! Keep your calm. Don't let them know you're sitting on a monster.
Dave Acts: Calls immediately (Pot = 1500)
I think: Here we go again.
Fold
Fold
Small blind: Fold
Big Blind: Call (Pot = 1900)
Pot: 1900
Flop: 2c 3h 7h
Big blind: Bets 500 (Pot 2400)
I think: Ok, he has a 7 or something. I'm gonna end this now. Only Dave is gonna f******* call.
I act: Re-raise to 1500. (Pot 3900)
Dave thinks: You mean I only have to stick 3 of these red circles into the middle of the table and I get to see one more of those rectangular squares with pictures on them!!! WOooooooooooooooooot!!! WHEEEL DRIZZZAW!!!
Dave acts: Calls 1500. (Pot 5400)
I think: Of course. This is gonna suck.
Big Blind: Folds (I'm assuming a seven or pocket 8's here)
I think: Ok. Just me and dumbass.
Pot: 5400
Turn: (2c 3h 7h) Tc
I think: Good. No ace, no king. Shit-for-brains over there could have anything, but I have to bet something scary.
I act: I bet 5000. (Pot 10400)
Dave thinks: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!! He's walking right into this one. Now I have a nut flush draw (not to mention my even-more-badass wheel draw). Easy call.
Dave acts: Call (Pot 15400)
I think: f***. I saw that sick smile on his face when that card came out. He has two f***** clubs. I know it. Please no club on turn. Please no club on turn. Please no club on turn. Seriously, he called so damn fast. I hate him.
I begin talking and muttering out loud about how I know he has 2 clubs and how bad he sucks at this game. I explain pot odds as I mutter. I repeat the amount I bet and the speed at which he called. I talk about wheel draws and how dumb it is to chase them because there's no bonus points involved here.
I'm already mad about the club that is sure to come.
Pot: 15400
River: (2c 3h 7h Tc) 8c
I think: Of. F***ing. Course.
The club comes out and I stare over at Dave, who's sitting no more than 4 inches from me. I stare at him hard. I look at his sad, sorry dough eyes and this shit-eating grin on his face. I seriously hate him at this point. Over half of my stack is gone just from this hand alone. I know if he bets, I can still fold. But I probably won't fold. I want to make him turn his sorry ass cards over and show his 2 clubs. So I glare some more. I wait. I clench my right fist. I have to check. I know it's not technically correct, but I know what he has.
I act: I check (Pot = 15400).
Then, something happened. I boiled over.
I speak: "You draw chasing S.O.B."
I act: I lift my already-clenched fist up in the air and stand up next to him. I put my fist two inches from his head as if I'm ready to swing as soon as he makes this probably all-in bet.
I speak again: "You suck at poker. I'm never playing as long as this guy plays. Ever again."
Dave thinks: Oh no. This guy who barely knows me is going to punch me in my head. Why? Surely he must know I had the wheel draw. Oh well, if I don't win this game, it's only 5 bucks. I can make that in one hour.
Dave acts: He checks (Pot = 15400)
I think: Holy crap, maybe he had two hearts, or just a wheel draw. I may still win this pot.
I act: I turn over my two queens, 75% sure he still had two clubs but didn't bet because he's a terrible poker player.
Dave acts: He turns over his Ac5c.
I speak: "Get the hell out of my house. Don't ever come back. You suck. You have to bet when you hit the nuts!!!"
Dave: "I don't care. It's only 5 bucks. I can make that in an hour at my job."
Everyone else: Laughs heartily as someone says, "I hope you make 5 bucks in an hour."
I act: I punch the first of many holes in our utility room door.
After losing that night, Dave never played poker at any game I was ever involved with ever again. He sucks.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Early College Days
Fall of Freshman Year
I played my first hand of Texas Hold 'em my freshman year of college. My roommate learned about the game from his future fraternity brothers around the same time that the game had exploded due to Moneymaker's seemingly epic win. I watched the fraternity play a few cash games one night and remember two things: 1) they were throwing around 20 dollar bills like they were hot cakes and 2) this fat guy kept showing me the hands that he was folding, one of which I specifically remember being Jack-four offsuit (J4o). I learned a few valuable lessons that night: 1) fat frat guys are rich and annoying, 2) I'm not joining a fraternity and 3) Jack-four offsuit is a bad hand. I stick by all three statements to this day.
In an attempt to fit in and be more "fratty", my roommate staged a few poker disasters in our dorm room with a couple other friends. I think I remember playing tight for the most part, basing my entire play on the fact that having a jack and a four is not good. Using my impeccable logic, I thus determined that the following hands were bad:
1) Jack-four
2) Jack-three
3) Jack-two
Finding little success in these games, I lost interest in poker and played very few hands for the rest of the semester.
Spring of Freshman Year
About a year before my discovery of online poker, I met my good friend Lil Mac. He, too, was a poker beginner. He knew about the game from television and one night asked me if I liked to play hold 'em. I told him, "I've played before." The first of many showdowns between Lil Mac and me occurred on the night before I had a government final. I had met the guy at a cousin's wedding about a week before, and he invited me to drive to San Marcos (home of Texas State University) to meet up with a couple girls he knew (I think he "knew" one more than the other). Being the hugest pushover of all time, I couldn't tell him no, even though I hadn't even begun to study. We drove down I-35 and met up with the girls at their apartment, and I informed him that I needed to be home by 2 a.m. and that I would be limited to 3 beers. Three hours and six beers later, Lil Mac again asked me if I liked to play hold 'em, to which I probably said something like "Hell yeah, I like to play hold 'em". Using Natural Light beers as chips (with a one case max bet), we began a game of heads-up Texas hold 'em at the girls' dinner table. I don't remember any details, but I do remember that after several hours of dealing the beer-soaked drinking game cards and becoming a case of beer in debt to my friend, I was ready to go home and study (I began studying at 5 a.m. and took the test at 10 a.m. the next day. I got a B). I didn't play a single hand of hold 'em for the rest of the semester and rarely hung out with Lil Mac. I do, however, owe him a case of Natural Light to this day.
Spring of Sophomore Year
During Christmas break of my sophomore year, I visited an old high school friend (who we will refer to as Texas Kang). Upstairs, his dad was using what I believe is a now-shut-down or little-used online poker room to play some play money online poker games. I don't know if it was cash games or tournament-style, but I just know that Kang offered to let me play some hands on his dad's account. I'm going to be honest, I was nervous. There were dollar signs next to the amount that I was betting, and, even though I was informed it was fake money, I get nervous when I see anything above the number 1 with a dollar sign next to it. I was also unsure as to how much these "fake" credits meant to Kang's dad. Anyway, I played a few hands and was immediately hooked. Upon returning to college, I immediately created an online account of my own. I used the same site as Kang under the alias Texas Tom or something. I played medium-sized buy-in play money sit-and-goes (SNG's). I kept track of all my results using Microsoft Excel so that I could determine how much profit I was making if I were using real money (what a nerd). The SNG's were 9-player tables, rewarding those who came in the top three (pretty standard). I calculated my profit, average placing and number of wins using Excel. My goal was, for the most part, to come in 3rd in every tournament. I chased gut shots, played any hand that could make a straight (e.g. 4-7 off-suit (47o)), and rarely raised pre-flop. I had no idea what was going on after the flop, but my results were very good. I thought I knew the game, and I was officially addicted.
Fall of Junior Year
The next Fall, I moved to a new apartment complex with an old friend from high school, who we will call Sasmo, and another friend, who we'll call Frosty. We spent the first week in a drunken haze, downing cases of Keystone Light and trying to meet women at the pool. One night, I got a phone call from an unknown number. The voice on the other end wanted to know what I was up to and asked me where I was living. Ten minutes later, I was drunk at the pool with my old friend Lil Mac. He had moved to the exact same complex as me. Coincidence? Not if you believe in the poker gods. Within a week, my first real game of tournament-style Texas hold 'em broke out at Lil Mac's apartment. Carrying an airsoft gun (as a joke), a cup of Powerade and Wild Turkey (nasty) and a deck of cards I meandered to Lil Mac's apartment for the game. Frosty and Sasmo came as well. One of Lil Mac's roommates (who is now my roommate, who we'll call J) also played. The buy-in was 5 bucks (which became the norm), and I'm not sure if any of us really knew how to play. I don't think we even finished. Either way, we were hooked.
The next weekend, Frosty and J stole a plastic fold-up table from an event at the apartment complex. We brought the table to my apartment, where it became The Table. We played beer pong, flip cup, drinking games and, most importantly, poker on this table. We allowed our guests to write whatever they wanted, in permanent ink, and kept track of the Longhorns' football games on The Table (we won the national championship that year, GO VINCE). The Table is in the cigar room of our current house, if you were wondering.
The standard poker games which occurred pretty much every other day of the semester had six regulars, described below (we all got somewhat better as the days went by):
Me: Weak, tight
Lil Mac: Weak, aggressive
J: Weak, Solid? (Not sure to this day)
Frosty: Weak, very tight
Juddy: Weak, loose
Five Dollar Dave: Weak, calling station
To us, we were the next generation of poker superstars. Throughout the semester, I watched a lot of Celebrity Poker Showdown on Bravo, so of course I had an edge on my opponents. However, the results weren't there, even though I knew to raise three times the big blind with a good hand. In order to do this, I had to have a list of good hands with which to raise three times the big blind. If memory serves me correctly, here's the list, in order of how happy I was to get the cards:
1) AA
2) KK
3) QQ
4) AK
5) JJ
6) Jack-Ten suited (JTs)
7) AQ
8) AJ
9) AT
10) KQ
11) KJ
12) QJ
13) KT
14) TT
15) Any pair
16) Ten-nine suited (T9s)
17) Ace-(any card) (AX)
I looked up a chart online and learned a little bit about positive expected value and things like that, but I rarely won. Honestly, Lil Mac usually took home the spoils. Second place got his money back. The games went on in typical fashion, and as I learned more and more about good starting hands, I got more and more pissed off to find that the other guys were winning while playing garbage. I often ripped the rest of the guys when they showed down trash cards and honestly had no respect for anyone except Frosty. Juddy chased too many gut shots, Dave couldn't fold until the river and Lil Mac simply outplayed me. J typically played top pair, but I can remember ripping him more than a few times for calling my standard pre-flop raises with hands like K9 or KT. Specifically, king-nine reminds me of a hand that led to one of my most famous poker quotes.
(The following format will be extensively used throughout the blog to describe specific hands)
Situation: $5 buy-in at Juddy's house. I'm not sure of the details, such as position or chip stacks.
Me: AXo
J: K9o
I think: I have an ace. I'm going to raise.
I act: Raise 3 times the big blind
Opponents actions: Everyone folds except J.
J acts: Calls.
The flop comes out, I believe we both hit a pair with our low cards and J's 9 beats whatever I had. After turning over our cards, I get huffy and say, "I just don't see what so intriguing about king nine." J didn't like the comment, but everyone else thought it was pretty funny.
To this day, I refer to King-Nine as "The J Hand". Anytime I'm in a flop with him and a king comes out, I still get a little scared or at least look over at Frosty and smirk. Honestly, I think J is a very good poker player and see nothing wrong with playing king nine in that situation. I just had no clue what was going on.
I played my first hand of Texas Hold 'em my freshman year of college. My roommate learned about the game from his future fraternity brothers around the same time that the game had exploded due to Moneymaker's seemingly epic win. I watched the fraternity play a few cash games one night and remember two things: 1) they were throwing around 20 dollar bills like they were hot cakes and 2) this fat guy kept showing me the hands that he was folding, one of which I specifically remember being Jack-four offsuit (J4o). I learned a few valuable lessons that night: 1) fat frat guys are rich and annoying, 2) I'm not joining a fraternity and 3) Jack-four offsuit is a bad hand. I stick by all three statements to this day.
In an attempt to fit in and be more "fratty", my roommate staged a few poker disasters in our dorm room with a couple other friends. I think I remember playing tight for the most part, basing my entire play on the fact that having a jack and a four is not good. Using my impeccable logic, I thus determined that the following hands were bad:
1) Jack-four
2) Jack-three
3) Jack-two
Finding little success in these games, I lost interest in poker and played very few hands for the rest of the semester.
Spring of Freshman Year
About a year before my discovery of online poker, I met my good friend Lil Mac. He, too, was a poker beginner. He knew about the game from television and one night asked me if I liked to play hold 'em. I told him, "I've played before." The first of many showdowns between Lil Mac and me occurred on the night before I had a government final. I had met the guy at a cousin's wedding about a week before, and he invited me to drive to San Marcos (home of Texas State University) to meet up with a couple girls he knew (I think he "knew" one more than the other). Being the hugest pushover of all time, I couldn't tell him no, even though I hadn't even begun to study. We drove down I-35 and met up with the girls at their apartment, and I informed him that I needed to be home by 2 a.m. and that I would be limited to 3 beers. Three hours and six beers later, Lil Mac again asked me if I liked to play hold 'em, to which I probably said something like "Hell yeah, I like to play hold 'em". Using Natural Light beers as chips (with a one case max bet), we began a game of heads-up Texas hold 'em at the girls' dinner table. I don't remember any details, but I do remember that after several hours of dealing the beer-soaked drinking game cards and becoming a case of beer in debt to my friend, I was ready to go home and study (I began studying at 5 a.m. and took the test at 10 a.m. the next day. I got a B). I didn't play a single hand of hold 'em for the rest of the semester and rarely hung out with Lil Mac. I do, however, owe him a case of Natural Light to this day.
Spring of Sophomore Year
During Christmas break of my sophomore year, I visited an old high school friend (who we will refer to as Texas Kang). Upstairs, his dad was using what I believe is a now-shut-down or little-used online poker room to play some play money online poker games. I don't know if it was cash games or tournament-style, but I just know that Kang offered to let me play some hands on his dad's account. I'm going to be honest, I was nervous. There were dollar signs next to the amount that I was betting, and, even though I was informed it was fake money, I get nervous when I see anything above the number 1 with a dollar sign next to it. I was also unsure as to how much these "fake" credits meant to Kang's dad. Anyway, I played a few hands and was immediately hooked. Upon returning to college, I immediately created an online account of my own. I used the same site as Kang under the alias Texas Tom or something. I played medium-sized buy-in play money sit-and-goes (SNG's). I kept track of all my results using Microsoft Excel so that I could determine how much profit I was making if I were using real money (what a nerd). The SNG's were 9-player tables, rewarding those who came in the top three (pretty standard). I calculated my profit, average placing and number of wins using Excel. My goal was, for the most part, to come in 3rd in every tournament. I chased gut shots, played any hand that could make a straight (e.g. 4-7 off-suit (47o)), and rarely raised pre-flop. I had no idea what was going on after the flop, but my results were very good. I thought I knew the game, and I was officially addicted.
Fall of Junior Year
The next Fall, I moved to a new apartment complex with an old friend from high school, who we will call Sasmo, and another friend, who we'll call Frosty. We spent the first week in a drunken haze, downing cases of Keystone Light and trying to meet women at the pool. One night, I got a phone call from an unknown number. The voice on the other end wanted to know what I was up to and asked me where I was living. Ten minutes later, I was drunk at the pool with my old friend Lil Mac. He had moved to the exact same complex as me. Coincidence? Not if you believe in the poker gods. Within a week, my first real game of tournament-style Texas hold 'em broke out at Lil Mac's apartment. Carrying an airsoft gun (as a joke), a cup of Powerade and Wild Turkey (nasty) and a deck of cards I meandered to Lil Mac's apartment for the game. Frosty and Sasmo came as well. One of Lil Mac's roommates (who is now my roommate, who we'll call J) also played. The buy-in was 5 bucks (which became the norm), and I'm not sure if any of us really knew how to play. I don't think we even finished. Either way, we were hooked.
The next weekend, Frosty and J stole a plastic fold-up table from an event at the apartment complex. We brought the table to my apartment, where it became The Table. We played beer pong, flip cup, drinking games and, most importantly, poker on this table. We allowed our guests to write whatever they wanted, in permanent ink, and kept track of the Longhorns' football games on The Table (we won the national championship that year, GO VINCE). The Table is in the cigar room of our current house, if you were wondering.
The standard poker games which occurred pretty much every other day of the semester had six regulars, described below (we all got somewhat better as the days went by):
Me: Weak, tight
Lil Mac: Weak, aggressive
J: Weak, Solid? (Not sure to this day)
Frosty: Weak, very tight
Juddy: Weak, loose
Five Dollar Dave: Weak, calling station
To us, we were the next generation of poker superstars. Throughout the semester, I watched a lot of Celebrity Poker Showdown on Bravo, so of course I had an edge on my opponents. However, the results weren't there, even though I knew to raise three times the big blind with a good hand. In order to do this, I had to have a list of good hands with which to raise three times the big blind. If memory serves me correctly, here's the list, in order of how happy I was to get the cards:
1) AA
2) KK
3) QQ
4) AK
5) JJ
6) Jack-Ten suited (JTs)
7) AQ
8) AJ
9) AT
10) KQ
11) KJ
12) QJ
13) KT
14) TT
15) Any pair
16) Ten-nine suited (T9s)
17) Ace-(any card) (AX)
I looked up a chart online and learned a little bit about positive expected value and things like that, but I rarely won. Honestly, Lil Mac usually took home the spoils. Second place got his money back. The games went on in typical fashion, and as I learned more and more about good starting hands, I got more and more pissed off to find that the other guys were winning while playing garbage. I often ripped the rest of the guys when they showed down trash cards and honestly had no respect for anyone except Frosty. Juddy chased too many gut shots, Dave couldn't fold until the river and Lil Mac simply outplayed me. J typically played top pair, but I can remember ripping him more than a few times for calling my standard pre-flop raises with hands like K9 or KT. Specifically, king-nine reminds me of a hand that led to one of my most famous poker quotes.
(The following format will be extensively used throughout the blog to describe specific hands)
Situation: $5 buy-in at Juddy's house. I'm not sure of the details, such as position or chip stacks.
Me: AXo
J: K9o
I think: I have an ace. I'm going to raise.
I act: Raise 3 times the big blind
Opponents actions: Everyone folds except J.
J acts: Calls.
The flop comes out, I believe we both hit a pair with our low cards and J's 9 beats whatever I had. After turning over our cards, I get huffy and say, "I just don't see what so intriguing about king nine." J didn't like the comment, but everyone else thought it was pretty funny.
To this day, I refer to King-Nine as "The J Hand". Anytime I'm in a flop with him and a king comes out, I still get a little scared or at least look over at Frosty and smirk. Honestly, I think J is a very good poker player and see nothing wrong with playing king nine in that situation. I just had no clue what was going on.
Introduction
Hi, my name is Thomas and I'm addicted to small-stakes online poker.
If it were up to me, I would wake up in the morning, fry 2 extra large eggs, toast 2 pieces of whole wheat bread, take 1 multi-vitamin, pour a glass of milk and begin playing what will become an entire day of no limit Texas hold 'em poker at my computer desk as I devour my delicious breakfast. And, luckily, being as I don't have a job and recently graduated from college, it is up to me, and that's exactly what I do.
The purpose of this blog is not to convince you to begin playing Texas hold 'em online all day, stopping only after earning somewhere between $100 and $145 (if you play for 8 hours, that's about $12-18 per hour). I actually have several reasons for not wanting you to read my blog and then begin playing. First, if you are reading this (assuming someone is not reading this aloud to you) then that means you can read. This fact automatically qualifies you as one of the smartest people at any given online small-stakes poker table. That's not good business for me. The second reason is that reading this may actually give you a slight edge should you ever face me in the poker room. I plan to go over specific hands, what I was thinking during each hand, what I thought my opponent was thinking (if capable) in a given hand and how I plan to play that given situation in the future. And the third reason is that I have a conscience. I do no condone gambling of any sort, and I would hate for you to go digging in your wallet/purse for your Wells Farge Visa debit card at 3 in the morning because you were in a cash game and some guy called your standard-sized preflop raise holding King-Ten off-suit (KTo) and couldn't let go of his hand when you re-raised him hard after the flop, which included a ten and two lower cards, and (of course) a king comes on the turn to which you say, "I know this guy has king f****** ten, but I have to call". After he re-raises you all-in following your two-thirds-of-the-pot-sized bet, and, after revealing to him that you have aces he simply writes, "LOL", leaving you pissed off and not enough money in your account to buy back in at that table so you can play this moron, feeling that, over time, you should be able to milk a guy like this for all he's got. And NO, I'm not bitter. I just don't want that to happen to you.
Anyway, after re-loading 40 bucks from my Wells Fargo Debit card that night, I never looked back. So, without further ado, I would like to introduce you to Texas Tom's Little Poker Blog and hope you enjoy every last one of my bad beats, suck-outs, bluffs, all-ins, double-ups, lay-downs, re-raises, limp-ins, and especially, cash outs as I learn the game and share with you my small-stakes online poker experience. Actually, I hope you don't enjoy any of my bad beats, as they tend to cost me money and, as my home-game friends will tell you, I might threaten to punch you in the face (I've also been known to throw computer chairs into refrigerators).
If it were up to me, I would wake up in the morning, fry 2 extra large eggs, toast 2 pieces of whole wheat bread, take 1 multi-vitamin, pour a glass of milk and begin playing what will become an entire day of no limit Texas hold 'em poker at my computer desk as I devour my delicious breakfast. And, luckily, being as I don't have a job and recently graduated from college, it is up to me, and that's exactly what I do.
The purpose of this blog is not to convince you to begin playing Texas hold 'em online all day, stopping only after earning somewhere between $100 and $145 (if you play for 8 hours, that's about $12-18 per hour). I actually have several reasons for not wanting you to read my blog and then begin playing. First, if you are reading this (assuming someone is not reading this aloud to you) then that means you can read. This fact automatically qualifies you as one of the smartest people at any given online small-stakes poker table. That's not good business for me. The second reason is that reading this may actually give you a slight edge should you ever face me in the poker room. I plan to go over specific hands, what I was thinking during each hand, what I thought my opponent was thinking (if capable) in a given hand and how I plan to play that given situation in the future. And the third reason is that I have a conscience. I do no condone gambling of any sort, and I would hate for you to go digging in your wallet/purse for your Wells Farge Visa debit card at 3 in the morning because you were in a cash game and some guy called your standard-sized preflop raise holding King-Ten off-suit (KTo) and couldn't let go of his hand when you re-raised him hard after the flop, which included a ten and two lower cards, and (of course) a king comes on the turn to which you say, "I know this guy has king f****** ten, but I have to call". After he re-raises you all-in following your two-thirds-of-the-pot-sized bet, and, after revealing to him that you have aces he simply writes, "LOL", leaving you pissed off and not enough money in your account to buy back in at that table so you can play this moron, feeling that, over time, you should be able to milk a guy like this for all he's got. And NO, I'm not bitter. I just don't want that to happen to you.
Anyway, after re-loading 40 bucks from my Wells Fargo Debit card that night, I never looked back. So, without further ado, I would like to introduce you to Texas Tom's Little Poker Blog and hope you enjoy every last one of my bad beats, suck-outs, bluffs, all-ins, double-ups, lay-downs, re-raises, limp-ins, and especially, cash outs as I learn the game and share with you my small-stakes online poker experience. Actually, I hope you don't enjoy any of my bad beats, as they tend to cost me money and, as my home-game friends will tell you, I might threaten to punch you in the face (I've also been known to throw computer chairs into refrigerators).
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