Thought of the Day, ETC

The past week has been hectic; hence my lack of new posts over the past few days. I have been in my new home city, Houston, looking at apartments and getting things ready for my job that I will be starting on Monday. Luckily, you don't care about this, so I don't have any real reason to write any more about it. We'll just say I took care of business and had WAY too much fun at my send off last night/this morning in Austin. (KEG + small gathering = calling strip clubs at 2 am... hell yes, writing about this fact has solved the mystery of the outgoing number dialed from my phone at 1:26 am. I've been pondering/slightly worrying all day.)

For the reasons described above, I haven't been able to concentrate too much on poker. I'm currently in a .25/.50 cash game and breaking even on the day. Last night, before the heavy drinking began, Texas Kang and I played some .01/.02 tables and attempted to keep our % of flops seen at 69%. It was grand* fun, but we ended up going broke.

I don't really feel like getting into detailed poker analysis right now, so I'll simply share with you the most important thing that happened to me today...

Do you know Woody Paige from Around the Horn on ESPN? If you don't, I can describe him for you: crazy old man. If you don't know, Around the Horn is a daily show on ESPN that comes on in the afternoon and watched only by those who have no jobs/lives. I record it. I "TiVO" it, if you will. Anyway, the show consists of 4 sports writers from around the country who discuss the hottest sports topics of the day. There's also a host who arbitrarily awards points to the panelists as they speak on said topics. He's a DB (DB is a technical term I use to describe people I don't much care for. It's an abbreviation for something. Hint: it rhymes with looshbag). Anyway, Woody Paige is a regular panelist on the show (representing Denver), and he could be described as the class clown of the group. He's pretty much BSC (rhymes with bat kit crazy).

One of the topics that the panelists and the DB discussed today was the fact that Mike Tyson wants to create a movie about his "life" and all of his trials and tribulations. The panelists seemed to agree that it would be a waste of time, especially due to the high quality of boxing movies that have been made in the past (e.g. Raging Bull, Rocky IV, etc**). They all agreed, that is, except Woody. He went into detail about the life of Tyson. He described how he was raised in a rough neighborhood and was discovered by a trainer who led him to glory, only for him to become a national embarrassment. He then said, there's already a title for it. DB fell into his trap saying, "Oh yeah, what's that?"

Woody replied (yelling as usual), "RAGING BULLSHIT!" (they had to beep it on ESPN)

Eff you, I thought it was funny.

*Grand - just a hilarious word to use.

**etc:
Have you ever seen those clever stores who specialize in selling something, but they also sell other things and want to let you know by adding "etc" to their witty title. No? Think of a bookstore that also sells stationary supplies, such as staplers. The owners may be inclined to
call their store something like, "Books 'N Things" or "Books, ETC". See, you know what I'm talking about. Anyway, the other day Frosty and I went go eat all-you-can-eat fish at BLVD Grille (which is total BS because they run out of fish and get mad when you ask for your 11th helping. They actual keep tabs on how many helpings you had and put it on the receipt with $0.00 next to it. OOOOOH, look how fat I got for free. Besides, the ugly waitress is so damn pushy and wants you to buy more beer.) On our way out, I saw a storefront that read "Tan, ETC". I looked in the window and saw no other service/items for purchase besides a tan. I was confused. No, I was curious. Just what was so "et cetera" about this place, which I'm pretty sure is Latin for something like "and then some" or "along with additional things". Did they have mysterious items in the back somewhere, available for purchase. Maybe they sold drugs. With that possibility in hand, I figured it was only right for me as a U.S. American (see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww) to inquire.

"Should I ask them what the et cetera is," I asked Frosty.
He probably said yes or just looked at me weird.
I noticed a woman, most likely an employee***, was cleaning the door of Tan, ETC as I approached. So, I barged in, and the conversation went as follows...

"Oh, wow, Ok. That's fine," the woman said as I barged in as she was clearly in the middle of cleaning the door. I wasn't trying to be an ass, honestly. If they want business, they should be completely prepared for potential customers.

"Yes, I was wondering if I could get something besides a tan."

The woman looked at me puzzled.

"I need something besides a tan, what do you offer?"

At this point, I think she may have felt I was propositioning her. Which I wasn't.

"We don't offer anything... do you need to make an appointment."

"For tanning, no. I need something additional. Something extra."

Puzzled look.

"I need something in addition to a tan. The title of your shop has led me to believe you have something besides tanning beds here."

"No, we just have tanning beds (at this point I yell, 'ET CETERA, TAN ET CETERA')... oh, I see. You're being sarcastic."

She starts to close the door on me.

"Sorry, I saw the et cetera and got confused. My bad."

Hate is a strong word. I don't hate anyone. That woman HATED me. Frosty probably felt similar.