Sports Figures Who Look Like Birds

I'm currently watching the Ohio State game, when I realized that Jim Tressel, though most known for his vest-wearing antics, looks kinda like some sort of bird. I'm going to add him to my famous "Texas Tom's List of Sports Figures Who Look Like Birds, Vol. I"

1. Tony Larussa
Famous for: St. Louis Cardinals Manager
Type of bird: Owl



Undisputed Ruler of the "People who look like birds" Kingdom. For years, Larussa has perennially perched on baseball dugout benches across the country, glaring and hooting and turning his head 360 degrees, waiting for a small field mouse or meerkat to foolishly show itself within his parameters. He looks more like an owl than Rosie O'Donell looks like a human. (It's funny, I was trying to come up with a name to insert in the Rosie O'Donell place fo rthe purposes of the joke and I came up with Patrick Ewing, Nick Nolte and Rosie O'Donell. I was going to go with O'Donell and asked my sister, "Who's a famous ugly person?" Her answer was "Rosie O'Donell". Sucks.)

2. Mel Kiper
Famous for: NFL Draft Analysis
Type of Bird: Hawk


This summbitch looks exactly like a Hawk. He may look more like a hawk than LaRussa looks like an owl. I know, sounds crazy. Draft guru, sports radio host, sex machine, hates Todd McShay, looks like a hawk. I'm infamous for being able to completely describe anyone in 5 short phrases, and that's how I'd describe Kiper. In fact, they may as well put those 5 lines on his tombstone after his untimely death in 2017. What? That's not funny.

3. Jim Tressel
Famous for: Sweater vests
Bird type: Undecided

I'm going to bed.

HAHAHAH see post at 10:48 under the title "FIESTA BOWL" on Monday, January 5, 2009. In my rant, I mentioned that Tressel looks like an owl. Sweet.